Blessed

Our Foster Care Journey, Part V

2012-01-27T08:04:00.000-05:00

Thank you for reading along this week! As I said, its been a very personal process and your support and encouragement mean so much. You are also the group I will be coming back to saying this is SO hard...please pray! :) Really...it means so much!

So onto the Q & A and the last post in this series. :)

What age range are you licensed for?

Growing up, both my family and Shaun's family took in foster children. Shaun's family did 0-8ish months and my family did 0-4 years. I wanted the same thing...a fresh newborn to snuggle with, a baby to do all the firsts with, a two or three year-old to have little chats with....all the ages I've loved so far as a mom. But...God's ways are not our ways and He actually placed a burden on both our hearts for older children, perhaps even teenagers.

The agency we are using provides theraputic foster homes for children ages 8-18. Normally these kids have had severe abuse or neglect and they maybe have been tossed around from home to home.

What an incredible thought that we could be the last stop for a child before they enter the world on their own. What a responsibilty to become someone's forever family even without adoption.

Are you open to adoption?

We have made it clear with the agency that we are not going into this looking to adopt. However, we will not close that door in case God has different ideas.

Don't you already have enough going on?

Yes, we do! We certainly weren't bored or looking for something else to add to our lives. That is why every morning during my staff meeting with God I will be reminding Him that this was His idea while asking for an extra portion of love, grace, patience, etc.

I can sit here and tell you right now I...we...cannot do this in our own strength. On paper, our shortcomings and weaknesses would seem enough to disqualify us...but God. I'm just as curious as you to see what He intends with this. :)

Where will the child sleep?

We are required to provide the children with their own bedroom. This will be a little tricky because, although our house is large, we only have three bedrooms set up...one for us, one that the girls share and one for Aiden/guests.

Most likely we will move the TV room downstairs into the pool room

and convert the TV room into a bedroom. I lobbied to get the TV permanently removed from our house but it was a no-go.

Obviously we'll have some work to do when we get our first call....and some bedroom furniture to find! We probably should be more practically prepared, but honestly its been so long it still feels like its never going to happen.

How will the child refer to us?

That is for us to decide. Depending on the age, I think we'll offer a few suggestions and let them choose. Probably Auntie Lisa and Uncle Shaun. Momma Lisa? Papa Shaun? I don't know...I think its really going to depend on the child. I'm open to suggestions!

What happens next?

Well, we have everything in....no small feat! We are awaiting the fingerprint results, which we did back in November. And then...we wait for our perfect match!

Well, this is the final post in this series, but most likely not the last you will hear about foster care here.

Happy Friday!!

Our Foster Care Journey, Part IV

2012-01-26T10:24:00.002-05:00

So, why are we doing this?

I could spend an entire week of posts talking about our reasons why we've decided to get into foster care. (Incidentally, I could also spend that same week listing out all the reasons why we could not, should not, would not....yes, I have at least a week's worth of "buts") However, the very simple answer is that God gave us this burden and spoke to our hearts.

We have enough history with Him to know it goes better for us when we do the things He's called us to do...we also know, from experience and based on His promises, that He only has the very best intended for us.

Five minutes on Yahoo News will leave you shaking your head, wondering what this world has come to. Reading statistics like 15 million children will die of hunger every year, or in the U.S. in 2009 there were 3.3 million child abuse reports and allegations, involving about 6 million children....more than 5 of those children die every day as a result of child abuse.

Depressing, isn't it? Overwhelming, right?

The truth is, there is simply no way we can help 6 million children. But maybe, just maybe, one child at a time, we can make a difference. We are ready to get our hands dirty in the process of loving the lost.

But when he heard it, he said, 'Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick.' Matthew 9:12

I love my family, our life. Its neat and simple and pretty. I am comfortable with and happy about the tidiness of it. Its manageable, fairly predictable. I like things just the way they are.

Yet...I want what God wants. I want to lay down my life to do the work He has for me. Will this bring pain into my life? To be sure. Will I miss life as we now know it? Probably. Our life may get messy and lose some of its prettiness but my prayer is that it is beautiful to the One who matters most.

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.” CS Lewis

I've talked extensively with another foster mom in our church. She has told me to be prepared for people's reaction...She said, they'll either say you are a saint or crazy. :) We are neither...just trying to be obedient, doing what we feel compelled to do.

Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God. Hebrews 13:16

The measure of a life, after all, is not its duration, but its donation. ~ Corrie Ten Boom

Tomorrow is Q & A...if you have any questions let me know and I'll do my best to answer them for you. :)

Our Foster Care Journey, Part III

2012-01-25T09:18:00.000-05:00

Once training was over, it was time to begin the home study piece. We gave the agency about a two- week window...after Christmas (please!!) but before tax season...and they were most accommodating.

The home-study is comprised of several parts that need to be spread out over three different days: an interview with me, an interview with Shaun and a walk through/inspection of our home.

The interviews lasted a couple hours each. We talked, in depth, about our childhoods, our families, how we met, other relationships we've had, our marriage, how we parent, what our children are like, what our day to day lives are like. It was very...comprehensive. :)

All this was in addition to the essays we each had to write on the same topics. I've got to say, its a little strange to put your entire life on paper like that, all contained within 8-10 pages.

The actual home inspection part was what we were most concerned with, since that is the part that's been giving us trouble all along. I thought it was going to be more like a tour of our house, while checking for flaking paint and working smoke detectors.

In reality, it was much more exhaustive than that. Our worker checked every single part of our house, including the basement (yuck!) and the third floor. I had no idea she'd be going to the far reaches....had I known, I would have cleared a walking path on the third floor!

I think she sensed my surprise because she said, we need to check every part of the house to make sure no one else is living here. We've discovered basement dwellers before. Oh....creepy!!

You better believe that day has motivated me to do something (finally, and again!) about our third floor/laundry room/everything storage. I'm pretty much the only one who goes up there (re: laundry) and its just a dumping ground. But now...I'm resolved to pick at it every week, while dreaming about the day its transformed into our master bedroom suite. :)

I debated posting pictures here for accountability, but I think I won't. If I find I'm having trouble staying motivated, then I'll consider it. :)

Because of the few changes we'd made and the little bit of work we did AND God's favor, our home passed the inspection without any trouble. Big sigh of relief!

Our Foster Care Journey, Part II

2012-01-24T07:34:00.000-05:00

At the end of October we received a postcard from the agency. It was simple with just a couple options to check. Were we still interested? Did we want our names taken off the list? etc. I checked, "yes, we are still interested" and added a little note that our lead paint situation hadn't really changed but had any of the regulations about it.

Two days later I got a phone call from Cindy. She said she'd gotten our response and asked me to refresh her memory on the lead paint issues.

Well, our entire front porch is in severe disrepair and is covered with lead paint, our third floor is yet untouched, there is hallway trim that is half striped. She took notes then said she'd talk to so and so higher up and get back to me and she did.

In the time since February, many regulations had been relaxed and they'd slowly started to peel back the layers of the blanket laws that had once been put into place.

The new requirements? Put a lock on the door going to the third floor, finish striping the trim in the hall and paint a strip of paint on the porch floor going from the stairs to the door. None of this would cost us any money and could be completed in less than a days work.

Wow...it felt like the parting of the Red Sea! What had seemed impossible was suddenly very easy and doable. Well...at least the home inspection part!

There was to be a training class starting up in a week and could we commit to that? Ummm...ok! So, twice a week I went to training and Shaun also came when he could. To be quite honest, I expected the training to be a typical state-mandated thing...lots of "fluff" and useless information to fill a requirement.

Quite the contrary, it was very informative. The facilitators were direct and honest about what we'd be getting ourselves into. There was no sugar-coating and very little of the information was "frilly". The training sessions were intense, heart-breaking, rigorous.

They also left me questioning God a little. Why us? We're not equipped for this. What effects will this have on our own children? Can we handle one more thing?

But with all the questioning and pondering we did during this process, the questions that came out on top were How can we not? If not us, who? If not now, when?

Our Foster Care Journey, Part I

2012-01-23T06:30:00.000-05:00

Phew...deep breath. I have stalled on doing this post long enough. Why have I stalled? I don't know. Partly because this journey has been deeply personal, partly because I don't want to run the risk of offending or being judged. And, very practically, I knew it would take me a while to put it all on paper.

Lastly, we wanted to wait until we'd completed the last hurdle, which happened this past Thursday. Though we are not officially licensed, its looking pretty good. :)

Are you ready for lengthy story? I'm going to take some or all of this week to write about our road (thus far) to foster care. (I was going to use flower photos, but for fun I think I'll use newborn photos, because really...can you ever get enough of that?)

After what has felt like a long journey to foster care, I think we are finally almost there. And I'm excited, albeit hesitant, to share our story here. We've gotten quite a few questions in talking with the few people we've shared with. If you have any questions shoot me an email or leave a comment and I'll do my best to answer those in a Q & A on Friday.

So...how did all this come about?

Honestly, I don't even remember our first conversations about doing foster care. It was shortly before or after Amanda was born and I don't even think it was much of a discussion....more like one of those times when we did little more than look at each other and we both knew. God had already spoken to both of us individually.

When Amanda was about one, so four years ago, we went to a Department of Children & Families (DCF) open house to begin the licensing process. That meeting went well so we took the next step and had a social worker come out to our house to begin the home study piece.

We talked for 15 minutes and then she took a quick walk around the house. Her message: when you have removed every speck of lead paint from your (1895) home then you can give us a call. We'd been so ready to dive in and felt like we'd gotten the wind knocked out of our sails.

Remove ALL traces of lead paint in a house this old? Impossible!

So...we did a quick eyebrow raise to God as if to say, What's up with that? We thought we'd heard from you! and then moved on.

Once Aiden was here and more than a year old, we decided to step our toe in the foster care water again. This time I made contact with what I thought was a private agency (turns out they are separate but still a state agency), thinking the rules & regs on lead paint would be different.

Afterall, we are raising three small children in this house who get tested regularly for lead and they are fine. Plus, nearly all of our community is comprised of pre-1970s homes.

The worker, Cindy came out to our house for an initial meeting in February 2011. She met me and the kids, talked about their program and then did a walk-through of the house. The outcome was somewhat expected though still disappointing: all flaking lead paint would need to be removed inside and out. That meant the wrap-around porch would need to be taken down and rebuilt. Something that clearly needed to be done...oh, about 10 years ago.

Its been on the to-do list for years, but time, money and circumstances have prevented it from happening. Just when Shaun was getting ready to finally do it, an apartment would become vacant and be in desperate need of a major remodel, for example.

Again, we had to wonder why we felt so called to this, but seemed to be so far away from ever making it a reality.

I'll share some snippets from my prayer journal on July 31:

Last night at church Eliezer (our amazing youth pastor) talked about living the "i" Life, as in lowercase "i", not capital...that your life does not have meaning until you're living it for others. I thought, yes, I desperately do not want to live the "I" Life.

As he was giving the alter call, one of the scenarios he gave was that maybe there were circumstances at this point in life that are beyond your control prohibiting you from helping others....the porch, the apartments, all seem like big circumstances right now...

....I know you've spoken to us about it and I'm frustrated we are not "being about Your business" right now....

Project 365, Week 3

2012-01-22T11:24:00.000-05:00

Sometimes it takes me by surprise when I'm looking back through the pictures from earlier in the week. Wow...that was only six or seven days ago?? I'm not sure what causes that, but this was one of those weeks.

My heart was filled to overflowing this week. God is so very good!

You may want to tune in this week as I share about our foster care journey (finally :)).

January 15

I enjoyed a wonderful birthday, being spoiled by my family.

January 16
We enjoyed having Avery home for the holiday. Freezing cold or not the dog still needed exercise, so we took a walk/bike ride to the highschool. Aiden's usually pretty content to chill in the stroller tucked under his blanket and I can't say I blame him.

January 17
Because of the pretty snow we'd gotten, I thought to bring my camera on our walk to school. We have a pretty steep hill to go down (and come up!) so sometimes Avery just likes to run down.

This is the field directly across the street from school where I throw the tennis ball for Trot every morning. Though the birds try to steer clear of the dog, I feel its inevitable that I'll get pooped on one of these days. :)

TWO super fun packages today! Birthday flowers and handmade hats. So much fun!

January 18
Just the everyday around here...Amanda all dressed up unloading the silverware.

She got Aiden dressed all by herself, too....starting him young on how to put his shoes on backwards. :)

January19
Silly girls.

January 20
The view from our second floor as the sun came up.

Sweet girls who woke up being "best friends".

More snow...(and her new hat)!

I went to a lovely dinner party, celebrating a friend's birthday. Some of the finest people you could ever meet around that table.

January 21
The kids were anxious to go sledding so my dad came and got them in the middle of the storm, giving Shaun and I the opportunity to have a final "pre-tax season" date. We kicked it off by plowing once he got out of work. Once a common occurrence, it had been years since I'd ridden in the pick-up truck...in the middle, right next to him. Good times.

Saturday Basketball

2012-01-21T15:55:00.000-05:00

Week two of basketball went well. Week three (today) was snowed out. :(

Learning to pivot....

There was a couple minutes of "free play" before the next team came in and Amanda came over and asked if her brother could go play, too. Without me saying anything she said she would watch out for him and she did so sweetly protect him.

He, of course, was pleased as punch. Notice they had to lay his tape measure on the floor so he'd have both hands available. :)

After an hour break we were back for Avery.

They were playing a game that had to kids from opposite sides of the gym running for the ball in the middle. Avery got head-butted pretty good and came over crying. I was very proud of her for going back in. The boy was a classmate and we're friends with his parents so I was sure to joke about it after with them.

Random Friday

2012-01-20T11:44:00.000-05:00

Even though (or because) its Friday, I'm feeling a little random-y.

I was disappointed to wake up to snow. With the wonderful winter we've been having (in my opinion, anyway), I had foolishly let myself start to hope and dream, just the tiniest bit, that we might escape this winter without any. I know...crazy. I'm happy for those of you that were missing the snow and are glad its here...please enjoy it an extra amount for me. :)

A friend sent me flowers for my birthday and they've made my week extra happy....tulips and the promise of Spring!!

Last night we watched some videos of when the girls were babies. The ones of Avery were pretty much of her trying to put her feet in her mouth. A little later we were watching Baby Amanda. She said, Mom, I did gooder, didn't I 'cause I wasn't putting my feet in my mouth.

Look what I just noticed on my blog archives...

Isn't that strange? As you know, other than Project 365, which I post once a week, without fail, there is not a lot of rhyme or reason to when I blog. But look how it turned out...every other year is within 1-4 posts of each other. I guess that means I will have approximately 188 posts this year....which, by the way, will bring me well past 1000 total posts. Who would have thought??

Because of the snow this morning, I drove Avery to school, a very rare occurrence. I observed that I never have to get out of second gear either going or coming. Nice and close...very sweet!

This month Avery and I have been memorizing: O taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in Him. Ps 34:8. Amanda and Aiden have worked on Do everything without complaining or arguing. Phil 2:14. I love Amanda's...simple and straightforward. I also like the period at the end....it doesn't allow for any "buts" or "unlesses"...no excuses, no exceptions...easier to memorize than do. :)

In case you have time to thumb through a magazine once in a while...I saw this no-strings-attached deal for a 24-month subscription to Family Circle for FREE...go HERE.

The sun is coming through my office window and it feels divine. Our home's temperature pretty much stays at "refreshing". Random check, hang on....ok, kitchen (where the woodstove, our main heat source is) is 64 degrees. The girls' room, just because they have a thermometer on their baby monitor is 58. Not bad. Hey...they say you burn more calories when you are cold. Plus, the random sets jumping jacks I do throughout the day, just to produce a little body heat. Its all good. :)

Snow or sunshine, warm or cold, enjoy your weekend!

Rapunzel Hair

2012-01-18T09:37:00.001-05:00

Avery and I were browsing through books at the store and she stumbled upon several diaries (with locks!) on the clearance shelf. It brought me back to when I was young, spending lots of time writing Dear Diary (oh how I wish I still had them!).

These were different than the ones I wrote in way back when. These are more interactive, fill-in-the-blank, answer the prompts.

As I glanced through the different options, I noticed many pages were about boys and secret loves, etc. Not sure what 13 year-old would still enjoy a Princess diary, but hey, I'm not there yet so I don't know. We settled on the Rapunzel one because there was no mention of boys!

Avery dove right in and started filling it all out. Somewhere in the middle was "Rapunzel's Hair Care Secrets". Included are step-by-step instructions on how to wash your hair and keep it healthy.

Avery, and Amanda who was involved by this point, declared they wanted "Rapunzel hair". They hopped in the shower and washed their hair, being careful to rinse it really well.

When they got out I combed their hair really well and gave their ends a little trim. Avery kept asking me if I had read the "recipe".

When I was done with Avery's hair she looked in the mirror and, almost in tears said, It doesn't look like Rapunzel's hair! I paused, not sure if she was joking or not. No...she was serious.

Well honey, you are beautiful and Rapunzel isn't even real.

What do you mean??

Again, after checking to see if she was serious, I started backpedaling a bit. If she wants to believe in Princesses a while longer, I'm not going to ruin that.

Well...she has a professional taking care of her hair. (yeah...a professional artist)

Yeah, Amanda said Rapunzel is an actress.

Ok. Well, actressess have someone who does their hair. Someone like Auntie Bethany comes and takes care of their hair.

Amanda was also very disappointed that she did not have shiny, golden, longer hair after our little beauty treatments.

Wow...really didn't see any of this coming!

They were pulled together by the time Daddy got home and he was able to tell them that their hair looked beautiful.

I guess some good that has come from this is the girls have been asking for fruit because the book says that fruits and vegetables help promote healthy hair. That, and there have been some good life lessons that we've been able to talk about.

Now when the turn of each maiden came to go in to King Ahasuerus, after the regulations for the women had been carried out for twelve months--since this was the regular period for their beauty treatments, six months with oil of myrrh and six months with sweet spices and perfumes and the things for the purifying of the women--

Then in this way the maiden came to the king: whatever she desired was given her to take with her from the harem into the king's palace.

Esther 2:12,13

Birthday Blessings

2012-01-16T21:22:00.000-05:00

Ahh...another birthday. Maybe the first one that didn't phase me at all, at least as far as getting all introspective and what not....probably do to the fact that I've been doing that since Jan 1. Anyway...

My day started at the gym. I took my time and, just before I hopped in the shower I got my weekly Saturday/Sunday morning call from Avery, asking me where I am....on the weekends the gym doesn't open until 7 so she is often awake before I get home. She must know by now where I am, I think she just likes using the phone. :)

When I got home the whole house was awake and excited to greet me and give me their cards.

Complete with a connect-the-dots puzzle for me it reads:
Mommy Aiden just said I'm just kiddin but I have more the write to you. (Future blogger, no?) I love you even when you talk fresh to me. Your a love to me. I love it when it's just me and you together. Its the palm of your hand that's the one of love. Love Avery. Even when we're out together. Happy almost Valintine's Day.

After hugs and cards, we got dressed and ready to go out to our favorite breakfast place. The girls got all dolled up and even had me curl their hair. :) When we got home the girls and I snuggled in my bed and read several chapters of the book we're working on and had fun chatting, too.

We did several things, including Avery and I spending some time in the bookstore while Shaun let the kids play in the playscape. I was mostly helping Avery look through books, but I did pick up this CS Lewis book of quotes....amazing. I related to this one:

I am a barbarously early riser....I love the empty, silent, dewy, cobwebby hours.

After grabbing some lunch we went to see Beauty and the Beast in 3D. It was fun surprising the kids and watching them enjoy it.

Then we met up with my dad and Kiki for a fun dinner. Before we left, Amanda was helping the waitress put pizza boxes together....of course!

I have been blessed

And I feel like I've found my way

I thank God for all I've been given

At the end of every day

I have been blessed

With so much more than I deserve

To be here with the ones

That love me

To love them so much it hurts

I have been blessed

This morning I rounded it out with breakfast with my mom and the kids. (Love the scarf she made me!)

I received so many wonderful cards, messages, phone calls. I'm trying to figure out who this woman is that people are talking about in the cards. I see myself as stumbling and failing and having so much to work on...the gracious cards painted a different picture...so very humbling and touching.

I'm so very undeserving of the grace that has been poured out on my 37 years, but I am forever grateful.

Project 365, Week 2

2012-01-15T18:38:00.001-05:00

I'm enjoying a wonderful birthday today. Hope your day was good as well.

It seems I ended up with quite a few cell phone pictures. My sister asked me once if those bothered me and I said, no way. The best camera is the one that's with you! And even though I don't have an iPhone (yet ;) I still firmly believe that.

So keep shooting...and sharing! Now, onto our week....

January 8

One of the foster care requirements was that we not have any flaking lead paint in the house. Shaun and I had started this project many moons ago and were happy to have the kick we needed to complete it. SO much better now....except for the wallpaper that was here when we got here and really needs to go.

January 9
Got nuthin'.

January 10
Its been so nice out! I cannot fully explain how thankful I am for an "above average" January and "below average" snowfall.

January 11
Aiden just happened to be awake early so I took him to drop Avery off at school.

January12
Dark, rainy morning. BUT...not snowing! :)

Later, cousin Alayna came over to play for a bit.

January13
It was SUCH a great morning taking Avery to school, I thought I'd take the other kids out later for a bike ride. By then the wind had picked up and it was actually quite chilly.

Just 15 minutes later on our way home, it started to sprinkle and then quickly turned into hail, which with the wind whipping was actually quite painful. I have a knack for getting caught in all manner of storms while out walking with the kids. Perhaps I should start checking the weather occasionally.

My helper. I thought we were making pancakes but when it was all mixed Aiden said, Momma, can I have my lick now?

He ate the pancake batter and the blueberries, but would not eat the blueberry pancakes. He is beyond frustrating with his eating!

Daddy's games are so much fun!

January 14

We're having fun starting our Saturdays with basketball.

In order to sell a lens, we met a guy at the mall book store. While we were there, we killed a little time before church. Amanda was stylin'!

All day the kids had anxiously awaited Uncle Nathan coming over to watch the Broncos game. He never disappoints (even though our team did...boo)!

Betcha Five Bucks

2012-01-12T08:10:00.004-05:00

The kids were outside playing and Shaun and I were in the kitchen talking and half watching. They were in their usual spot but they had a plastic cup that they were going over to every so often and eating from.

I didn't even really pay attention but Shaun said, what's in the cup?

As soon as he said it I knew...five bucks says its dog food.

Shaun said we didn't shake on it so he still hasn't paid up.

What a good daddy....he went and got them a real snack. I know...I can't explain why our FIVE year old STILL loves to munch on dog, cat and horse food.

That's our Manda-girl as we like to say around here.

A man who has friends must be a friend, but there is a friend who stays nearer than a brother.

Proverbs 18:24

Ten on Ten

2012-01-11T10:06:00.001-05:00

For a while now, I've wanted to try Ten on Ten, where you take a picture every hour for ten hours on the 10th of the month. I would have completely forgotten this month again, except that I happened to see a post on FB that my friend was doing it. Thanks for the reminder! :)

Normally, because I didn't do it "right" I would have just scraped the whole thing, but I'm trying to mend my ways and not sweat the small stuff that really does not matter.

That being said, welcome to my perfectly "imperfect" January 10th :)...