Project 365, Week 4

Winter days filled with stunning beauty, laughing children, sacrificial love and grinding out another treatment.

January 20

We woke up to a beautiful morning! There was snow removal to do, but equally as important, sledding and snowboarding. :) Since there was no school, we had Dakota overnight. Avery got him snow-ready in a variety of way-too-big snow gear and everyone was happy. 

On the drive to take him back home I had to stop a couple times. It was just so pretty!

January 21

We showed up to my usual building, only to find out that they'd scheduled treatment in Manhattan. While I was being frustrated, Shaun was booking a parking garage and within moments we were back in the car on our way. It seemed to us the skyline had changed yet again since the last time we drove this route. 

It was a major inconvenience but in the end it worked out.

January 22

No Picture

January 23

By the afternoon, I was. downstairs and able to read!

January 24

I was happy to see these faces from PA while they did a brief outing. They are perfectly suited for each other and I'm so thankful God put them together.

January 25

Family cards. :)

January 26

Aiden so sweetly made everyone popcorn to accompany the football game. Its a bummer that the season is nearly over, but we have to be done with football before spring can come, right?

 

Numbering Days, Week 127-134

I've spent a good long time trying to piece together some thoughts that make sense and go together. The truth is, its hindsight that makes things clear and give me the ability to articulate what's in my heart. But when I'm in the middle, I find my mind is quite scattered. Or, often blank. My strength is limited, my focused compromised. I have no ability to multi-task and am easily overwhelmed.

Right now, I'm in the middle.

The short of what's actually long and very daily...I'm still doing treatments every two weeks. A few cycles ago we changed up my meds and its made a big difference in managing the effects of my body being poisoned. I'm grateful and relieved.

Thank you for your prayers, your love and support. I feel carried.

And I will give you treasures hidden in the darkness-secret riches. 

I will do this so you may know that I am the LORD, the God of Israel, 

the one who calls you by name. Isaiah 45:3

I am discovering the riches...the sweet presence of Jesus and the solidarity with Him, the Suffering Servant. I fix my eyes on Him, my only hope. I will have scans and tests soon, but my hope is absolutely independent of the outcome of the results. Every time I look, I find his faithfulness again.

Project 365, Week 3

It was an off week. We like those better. :)

January 13

Finally, it worked for me to catch one of Aiden's football games, coached by his youth pastor and made up of his crew of friends. And his friends parents are my friends, so that's a bonus.

January 14

This time of year there is lots of training happening over four offices. 

January 15

My 50th birthday. Lots of layers of feelings leading up to it (having nothing to do with getting older or moving into a new decade) but I woke up and asked Jesus to help me enjoy the day and just soak it in.  And it was extraordinarily lovely in every way. I have such a loving, generous (long suffering!) community who show me unmerited love over and over.

I knew for sure I was not up for a big birthday celebration. Instead, Amy reached out to a bunch of my people and made a 20-minute compilation of the sweetest thoughts and birthday wishes. The video ended and I was in tears and speechless, completely overwhelmed by the love.

The day concluded with dinner at my favorite restaurant with my favorite people. It was perfect!

January 16

Pretty sky.

January 17

Avery's experimenting with buying a wedding dress online. Three arrived to try on.

January 18

We had a TBQ Meet after taking a break for the holidays.

January 19

We got to see our little buddy. 

Lucky for him, the big kids were together at Jack's house and he got to crash their party.
 

Project 365, Week 2

It was a treatment week, which means it was a hard week. The days after are less predictable than they used to be so we brace ourselves for what we'll face and how long it stretches out. And also, my family continues to show up for work and school and responsibilities. They're tough, my crew.

January 6

The closer we got to New York, the more snow...just enough to make it look pretty. 

While Shaun was with me at treatment, Avery was home with Aiden and got him to flag football.

January 7

Avery's been watching our youth pastor's kids a couple days a week since September. She loves it so much. She's had a love of and gift for babies since she was born.

January 8

No picture

January 9

I was able to sit downstairs for the day and the wind was howling. At one point, I heard the sweetest chirp outside the window and saw a bird and then the nest that somehow stayed put despite the branch's sway. 

January 10

Ginger sticks pretty close to Aiden around the house, but especially in the morning because he feeds her and walks her. By 7 AM the best of her day is done.

January 11

Aiden and Jason are learning the front desk at the office, but they are also very willing to jump in and do other things that need to be done.

January 12

The Broncos secured a wild card spot, so we did what we could to support. Avery and Jack made some yummy snacks and we kept hope alive, but it wasn't enough for them to advance.

Amanda discovered she can use Google Meet on the library computers, so we've been enjoying calls that way...its always a bonus to see her face.

Project 365, Week 1

We eased back into things, turning our attention from the holidays to the upcoming tax season and Amanda's semester and treatments resuming. And a wedding in months! Lots of emotions.

December 31

We were treated to a beautiful sunset as we neared home on our way back from Montreal. Soon after, the kids left for their various parties. Shaun and I were quite content to have a quiet night at home alone in our side-by-side recliners. Yes, we are every bit of that much old.

January 1

We met up cousins at great-grandma's house for our long-standing New Year's tradition.  

This little crew faces a whole lot of hard very regularly. We lean in tight when it gets rough...to each other, to Jesus. God made us to do the hard things in the good story He is writing for our lives.

January 2

For Christmas, Amanda gifted me a date and I cashed in on lunch before school break ended. What an honor to be on the listening end of her heart.

January 3

Bright and early, we were at the DMV. They purchased their cars, but now that they are 18 (+), I wanted them to be listed on their car's title.

What a treat to have Trevor as our guest at TBQ! He prepared a devotion on one of the chapters we're studying in Acts...it came from his heart and the kids were very attentive.

January 4

I spent the morning at the office training new hires. There's less and less I can contribute so I try to prioritize training those who are able.

It was sweet of the girls to join us at Aiden's soccer game. I love to have my family all in one place.

January 5

After church, Amanda and Aiden packed up most of the Christmas decorations and did the few house-organizing things that were bothering me. Cleaning has long been a go-to coping strategy for me the day before treatment and, admittedly, its often irrational. This day it was of extreme importance to get unused shoes out of the garage and closet. To their credit, the kids didn't pushback, they just accommodated.

It was a teary day as I separated Avery's ornaments from the rest so she can take them with her and hang them on her very own tree in her very own home with her very own family later this year.

And Amanda packed up her things, hugged us tight and left to go back to school. A teary day.

Nathan shared his extra UCONN basketball tickets with Shaun and Aiden, a special treat and welcomed diversion for them. It was such a great game, they came home and re-watched it.