Physically I was feeling better and better this week, though I've noticed my oxygen supply leaves something to be desired. Mentally I faced a few challenges.
Have you ever see the movie Groundhog Day with Bill Murray? So hilarious. Except this week I felt like I'm living that. For two months every day has been cancer. Some of it has been wonderful, some of it has been hard but that same track keeps playing.
Someone described it like watching a split screen. Normal life is happening but always there in the corner is the cancer show. This week I just wanted to watch the normal life show.
Shaun very delicately wondered if the cause of me feeling down might be due to the fact that I haven't run in a month. I think that is exactly it. I'm having withdrawals from the endorphins I've been addicted to the majority of my life. So, we spent some time looking for treadmills. Hopefully this week...
We got a packet in the mail from our insurance company this week:
Dear Ms. Cour:
We recently notified you that we will move you to a new plan for 2015 that meets all of the requirements of the Affordable Care Act (ACA). Coverage under your current plan ends on December 31, 2014.....
This "Affordable" Care Act has taken our monthly premium and doubled it while increasing our deductible, making our annual out-of-pocket health insurance cost more than $30,000. I'm having trouble picturing Obama and his people sitting around a table coming up with this new and improved health care system, seeing what it would cost self-employed middle-class citizens, and being ok with that.
Thankfully Shaun has been working with a broker from our church and we are switching plans for 2015. There is still no part that is "affordable" but we will save a few thousand.
Amy and I went to see a Genetics Counselor, as recommended by the surgeon. She spoke extensively about chromosomes and genes and DNA, complete with charts and graphs. With information I provided she was able to put together my family tree. She took into account me, my siblings, my children (7), my father and his parents and siblings (9), my mother and her parents and siblings (5) and all my first cousins (25) and my (blood) nieces and nephews (14).
What I thought was quite remarkable is that of those 60 people, just three, including me, have been diagnosed with cancer. Must be that hearty western blood (my parents were born in Montana and Idaho). :)
In the end I chose to do the testing (a simple blood draw...from my port, which is completely healed and causes me no pain while sleeping and doing other regular activities), primarily to provide as much information as I can to my siblings and children. We have over 20,000 genes in our bodies and right now they are only able to test a small handful of those, but at least it will be something.
In the midst of feeling down this week, God recalled these scriptures to my mind even before I was out of bed one day and I've been mediating on them throughout the week.
So we’re not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace.
This morning in my inbox Christine Caine was using those same scriptures:
For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal (2 Corinthians 4:17-18).
Your God is bigger than any challenge you are facing. Our problems that seem so overwhelming will grow small in the light of His greatness. Last time I checked, the devil was small enough to fit under my feet and God is big enough to fill the heavens and earth.
Be encouraged today that our God is well able to do all things! Just focus on Him and His promises.