Project 365, Week 3

Birthdays, snow days and everyday life days. 

January 15

My birthday. :)

Amy brought tea to the office and we sat in the sun rays in my office.

The kids were off of school and had time so I asked them to take down the last of the Christmas decorations. Our main tree goes into what we affectionately refer to as the "body bag".

We went out to my favorite restaurant and then back home for the pretty cake Amanda made.

I thought I'd have lots of feelings surrounding the day, but it was mostly just gratitude. How can it be that I am loved, that I am cared for, that all these 49 years have lead such a charmed life? How can it be that I've been given a purpose and have been gifted another day? And also, how can it be this hard?

From His fullness, we have received grace upon grace. John 1:16

January 16

It was cold and snowy outside so when I turned on my computer at work, I sucked in my breath at this scene. I was desperately wishing I could take a stroll down that path with as much quiet as nature allows.

The two youth pastors in our church each just had a baby, three weeks apart. After remote school was done, the girls and I went to visit one of the babies. Avery is living her dream with this recent baby boom!

January 17

Ice! With the sun shining it was stunning. Avery caught a beautiful scene from the bottom of our driveway.

January 18

Boys and dogs.

January 19

Boys and flames.

My favorite singer on the left. :)

January 20

Avery had work all day, but we asked the other two for some time to help reign in the basement, mostly taking the piles of Christmas decorations that had been dumped and putting them on their shelves. We also made another trip to the dump, there was no 'yeehaw' involved though.

It worked to go to Nathanael's hockey game and, with less than a minute left, he scored!

January 21

Avery is working two jobs and starting a new full-time semester of college. She's got a lot of other things going on as well and so she's trying to be deliberate with her time. She sat down in the sun with a cup of team and a cute notebook and mapped out her week. 

Dinner out on short notice and it was lovely.

 

January's 10 on 10

10 pictures on the 10th day (Wednesday) of the month! 

{Document a snapshot of your life...find beauty among the ordinary things in your day!}

After getting home after midnight from a long day in the city doing a procedure the previous day, I rested this day. When I woke in the morning, I lay in bed and figuratively checked that my arms and legs were attached and moving and then as I got out of bed, I checked for pain. I was good! A wonderful, beautiful miracle.

Aiden was the first one to make it downstairs and check in. Ginger sure does love him (and also, he feeds her early every morning).

I believe this is the 3rd year I've done The Bible in a Year with Father Mike Schmidt. As a special treat, most of the five of us are following the same podcast this year.. There is so much value in reading the Bible from front to back as the continuous story that it is. The things I learn regularly astound me and I'm so thankful for the gift of unlimited access to God's word, without fear of imprisonment, or worse.

Ginger and I are the only ones who care about the pile of winter coats in the entry way. One girl's annoyance is another dog's opportunity. ;)

Amy checked in bright and early, anxious to hear how everything had gone the day before and how I was feeling. So often, my body takes the long, hard way, and she's there for it all, so this day it was nice to have a good report to share.

How old are we? We are two-recliners-side-by-side years old. This guy would sit with me at all times, if life allowed. 

Sweet, hard working girl. Home from the office in time to change for her second shift gig.

Faithful dog, hoping our walk that didn't happen would happen.

When Amanda came home she settled in and chatted with me for a while. Makes me happy when she's in the mood to hang.

I spent some times studying James, the book of the Bible we're in now with TBQ and also doing some research, learning more about my Word of the Year.

After several hours waiting, my oncologist came on the call. She was thrilled to hear my 24-hour post-procedure report of feeling good and also said we'll continue to wait on chemo.

 

Project 365, Week 2

In some ways it was the ordinariest of weeks, in other ways it was anything but. It is all grace.

January 8

The morning after a storm is often extra sparkly and enchanting.

January 9

It was Procedure Day. I'd already worked out my fears and feeling and I had so much peace this day. It was nice that we were able to leave after the kids had left for school so we could say goodbye.

Once we arrived at the hospital, they took us right in. I'm an actual professional patient. While the experience has come at a cost, it is also so nice to not be a rookie. I know the things to go along with because its the way it is and I know what things I can push back on because someone is being lazy or is unfamiliar with their job.

It was a super long, emotionally grueling day for those who love and care about me, but for me it was a blissfully extended nap.

The kids were invited to Taco Tuesday, which helped distract them for a couple hours.

January 10

I laid very low this day, but was amazed and grateful for how good I felt.

January 11

Ginger has different places throughout the house, depending on time of day. In the morning, she likes to watch the cars and the walkers and the school bus. I think its funny, too how she drapes her paw over the step.

January 12

TBQ and the partial phone stack.

January 13

Amanda and Aiden had the day open, so they came to the office to help set up and clean up. I sent Avery this picture of people busily working at her desk. :)

We went to the dump and tossed old dehumidifiers, water coolers, etc. There was a couple next to us unloading their pickup and when they were done, she declared, to no one in particular, "Yeehaw! I feel SO much better!" Clearly she and I were meant to be friends. I have done so many dump loads in my life and it has to be Top 20 best feelings to be rid of whatever the load is, forever. I have high-fived at the dump but never yeehawed. Maybe it needs to be a thing.

Our stream was flowing good with all the rain we've had.

Jack was so sweet to bring Avery flowers AND some for me, too. Beautiful!

Our church held a Family Fun Day for a couple hours. It was winter-themed, with games, raffles, crafts and hot chocolate and places to sit and chat. Amanda and I were the only part of out family there and she helped her cousins oversee the game room. It was a really fun time!

January 14

After church I walked and it was the first time in quite a while that I ventured out of our neighborhood. I paused to celebrate the win.

 

Numbering Days, Week 74-76

There is much to share and the good news is so good, I want to start with that! As I've mentioned, there was a conference where my case was discussed and doctors from across several disciplines came together for a "meeting of the minds" and later proposed a procedure to try.

Tuesday Shaun and I left for the city at 7:30 AM for what we hoped would be an out-patient procedure. The Interventional Radiologist came in to talk to us before they took me back, wanting to make sure we fully understood what he was going to attempt. He also emphasized that they would forego it if, once they accessed the area, it was deemed too risky.

When he walked out, Shaun and I were marveling, not for the first time what they, the doctors, scientists, etc, are able to do. Many times over the years it has felt ridiculous that we drive to New York for my care when we have good hospitals here in Connecticut. But Sloan Kettering is truly the best, at least for my case. And at all times we have people praying in all different parts of the country. People who have known me all or most of my life, people who I see on a weekly basis, people I've never met. Family, friends, friends of friends, strangers. We are so grateful.

From the procedure report...."Under ultrasound guidance, the sacral hiatus and epidural space was accessed with a micropuncture needle and wire....fluoroscopic and CT guidance,  percutaneous cryoablation of S1 metastasis." Essentially, using a very tiny needle, they froze the tumor in my sacral bone, or at least we hope. Though the actual procedure took just a couple hours, there was a whole process involved and I was under anesthesia for about seven hours. (Anesthesia and warm blankets...good stuff. ;))

The doctor was pleased, feeling like he accomplished what he was hoping to. I didn't end up getting admitted, even though they tried to keep me. Instead, we got home a little after midnight after a harrowing drive in the wind and rain.

There has been no pain with recovery, just some extra tiredness. I laid low for a day or two but then picked up with "normal" life, except a little more aware how blessed I am, how beautiful life is.

When I checked in, I got a new-to-me neon wristband. It slightly offended me and annoyed me, but I just went with it. The guy across the hall from me in pre-op apparently had the same band, but he did take the time to question it. And I get it...because there is so much we can't control, "we" grasp at the silly things we feel we can have a say over. The guy was adamant to the nurse that he walks fine and is sturdy on his feet. She patiently explained that its standard to all patients with neuropathy in their feet/legs.

For me, the neuropathy means my foot is partially numb and often tingling and finding shoes that work has been a challenge. But I'm sturdy on my feet and most definitely not a fall risk. 😉

After white-knuckling the 2.5 hour drive, Shaun got me tucked into bed and then spent the next several hours at a couple of our properties proactively working to keep water out of the basements due to the rain in addition to the snow. Sometime around 3 AM he finally crawled into bed. How much can one person deal with?  He is steady and capable and doesn't seem to have regular human limits. 

December 12 was my last treatment with not another one in sight until at least February. In a couple weeks I'll do a PET scan to determine the effectiveness of the procedure. For now, we are rejoicing! Truly, its a miracle that it was carried out and I walked out of the hospital on the same day. We are just grateful.

Amanda and I had a nice drive to NY for pre-op labs. I was delighted to leave that building without getting a chemo treatment!

I walk because I can. I walk because they say it helps. I can't verify that it has helped me live longer, but I know it helps a great deal with my mental health.