Numbering Days, Week 118-122

There is always so much on my heart that I want to share. Sometimes its feels too personal to share in this space, sometimes it feels too heavy for you, my caring readers. Other times it feels too hard to explain or it doesn't feel like the right time. 

At any given time, there are so many things settled and being wrestled with in my heart. But today I just want to encourage you, if you haven't yet, to get your own thing going with Jesus. He and I have been through some things together, much of it I've shared and plenty will stay private.

Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him. Then your faith 

will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness.

Our secret lives with Jesus will make our roots grow down. Spending time reading scripture is getting to know the nature and the character of the One we're in relationship with. Don't settle for getting this second-hand once a week in church.

I experienced great pain and some frustration this week and with tears in my eyes, I can tell you that I also experienced His presence so real and loving, just sitting with me, somehow with nothing else to do and no other place to be. It changed everything, except my outside circumstances.

I met with a couple of my doctors last week and it was decided to start chemo back up. Of course I never want to do it again, and certainly I was hoping to wait until after the holidays but enough evidence was gathered to show that its time. I hate it so much but I'll do it anyway. And I am hopeful it will alleviate some of the pain. 

Did you know? We all have an 'I'm okay if that is okay' thing. I'm okay as long as my kids are healthy. As long as my presidential candidate wins. As long as I don't lose my job. As long as my spouse makes me happy. As long as the test results are positive.

What is your "I'm okay" rooted in? 

God invites us to be okay because He is okay. We can abide in Him and have Him be the source of our stability and rooted-ness. I am more fragile than I like to think I am but I can be stable because of an abiding union with God that never fails through all circumstances.

Having been deeply rooted [in Him] and now being continually built up in Him and [becoming increasingly more] established in your faith, just as you were taught, and overflowing in it with gratitude.

I've tested it out too many times to count. It turns out, God is enough when you need him to be. Maybe you haven't gotten to the point in life where you really need Him, but you will. From someone who has spent a whole lot of time in the trenches, may I encourage you? Decide some things about your relationship with God before you need Him, because you will. That ground you have your "I'm okay" planted in will get shaken. What you really will want is a relationship that is so tight that you know, with assurance He is with you and you can be stable. Get your own thing going with Jesus. He actually and truly is enough.