Project 365, Week 8

February: winter's last bittersweet farewell song.

February 16

No picture

February 17

He did it! We have a new driver in the family!

February 18

Pop and Kiki were headed out on a vacation and they planned their travel time around stopping in to surprise Amanda and do the evening prayer service with her. She was SO happy! 

February 19

Tried the hot tub for some pain relief...a nice addition to the morning.

February 20

Exquisite sunrise that went through a variety of colors.

February 21

Aiden's car only made it up part way late the night before after going out with friends post-youth group.

As Assistant Campus Pastor, most of what Jack does is behind the scenes, but this night he did announcements/offering for the first time. He did so great!

February 22

Avery and Jack came to stay overnight, in anticipation of a big snow storm.

Project 365, Week 7

This week was made extra special by a quick trip to Middle-of-Nowhere, PA.

February 9

This is an almost daily scene right now.

February 10

Mornings.

February 11

For tax season, my desk was moved from the front of the building to the back and now I watch new growth on this plant each day.

February 12

Amanda's school was holding some special services and Avery had the idea to go as a surprise to Amanda. She invited me to go along!

We left very early, getting to Amanda's school at 9AM. Avery and I parked and talked through a couple options of how to find her on campus. Our hands were on the car door handles to get out when Avery spotted Amanda about to walk past our car. So we got out and shocked her and that tight-squeeze hug was absolutely worth the trip.

We sat with her while she ate breakfast and then went to the first service together. After, we left campus to get some lunch and hang out for the afternoon until the evening service. We met some new people, saw old friends, played games, laughed. It wasn't nearly enough time and it was just perfect. 

People ask me regularly how Amanda's doing. At Summit she's happy, she's flourishing, she is so vibrant and full of life. She's learning so much about God, herself, dealing with people. Though she wishes she had a 50-year plan laid out for her life, she's confident that God does and she tries to rest in that.

We stopped by her dorm room and I was not surprised to find her bed made and all her things in order. She likes things a certain way and I love that about her.

As I sat with my girls in the service I just kept thanking God...He redeems, he restores, he does miracles on the regular. What a God, what a God.

February 13

Amanda is on a sprawling 100-acre campus that's beautiful in every season. Summit is such a special place, its difficult to describe.

We joined her for a quick breakfast and the 10am service and then were on the road by noon to beat the evening traffic. I so appreciated getting the car time with Avery. This trip was quick and so heart-filling.

February 14

I bought Valentine's donuts for the office and that was the extent of the celebrations this year.

February 15

My nephew was playing in a warm, close-to-us hockey arena, so I got to watch him skate and was SO happy to catch up with Sarah.

Project 365, Week 6

We started making our way through February.

February 2

Counting my blessings that I get to take this boy to practice; soon he'll have his license and I will greatly miss our car time together.

February 3

Stealing time with this boy as we take care of business while also getting hours of driving practice.

February 4

The lake house has created a lot of extra work...we're counting down the days until it will be worth it.

February 5

He causes the sun to rise each morning...I'll never get over it.

I'm so thankful for option of Telehealth visits. I'm thankful for my support people. I'm thankful for some more months of life (or maybe years or days...none of us knows!).

February 7

Someday I will miss stepping around boys shoes.

February 8

Speaking of boys...Avery and Jack took the twins for the weekend and spent one of the nights at our house, so I got some early morning snuggles.

They are starting to smile and laugh and its so cute! It is a thing to behold, watching Jack and Avery so effortlessly care for two infants. And taking such joy in doing it.

 

Project 365, Week 5

It was a stressful week for Shaun as he monitored freezing temps and snow removal for several properties. Thankfully, all the pipes were ok.

January 26

I snuck into the sleepover room to wake Aiden for shoveling. Giant boys and junk food trash were scattered everywhere...it was a scene! 

In a game-time decision, I opted to drive to NY for my scans, despite the weather. When I left at 8 AM all the boys were out cleaning up what the plow could not, which was so sweet. Once I got to the main roads, travel was easy, made even easier because school was canceled. 

Even though it was hard to be at the cancer center, it was logistically easy because so few patients were there. And, I got it done just before my insurance deductible renewed.

January 27

Morning sunshine after the storm.

January 28

A gift of a sunset while waiting for Aiden to be done with soccer practice.

January 29

Family game night. Family, as in the three of us.

January 30

We extended our work errand outing and enjoyed a late lunch together. Love being friends with this girl!

January 31

We're not enjoying being part of the record-breaking year. TOO cold!

February 1

Though still not complete, family game night is better with five.

Numbering Days, Week 186-190

Last year I was certain I was experiencing my last birthday. Though it was my 50th, I could not bear to do a celebration...I was so weary and sick and worn down and didn't feel I had strength to go on. 

And then a miracle happened. My body stabilized and I was given this past year, largely treatment-free and somehow, quite unexpectedly, the days stacked up into a year and I came to another birthday.

January 15th. Its also the day, now four years ago, that my doctor called to say the cancer was back. It was a Saturday and I was sitting in the car with my family, having just finished my birthday breakfast. Five months later another call, this time as we were loading suitcases in the car to catch a plane for family vacation, saying "there's nothing we can do".

Truly I don't have words to describe what its like to reside in that tension. Our family counselor calls it "anticipatory grief", the profound sense of loss, sorrow and anxiety experienced before an impending death or major life change. Loss, yes. Also, so much gratitude to still be here, experiencing life, watching my kids grow into amazing adults. Also, so many moments wondering, how long?? My brain and my heart cannot process that we've been fighting this reoccurrence for four years.

I used to think joy and sorrow needed to be separate, but I've learned that its not just ok, its necessary that I enjoy the joy because its going to help me with the sorrow. I'm not being disloyal to the sorrow because I take the opportunity to have a moment's joy. Actually, I look for joy like its my job.

This year, I was so happy to celebrate my birthday. 51! I love being old! Against the delicately-delivered advice of my teen niece, I am keeping my hair gray. My middle is soft. I like seeing age spots on both of us when I hold my husband's hand. It reminds me, I've witnessed God's faithfulness.

Recently I did a round of scans and labs and follow-ups. The affect of having four months "off" was interesting...when I walked in the building to do the tests I thought, I HATE this place. All of it. Days later, after one of the telehealth visits Shaun shared with me that he was driving and thinking how much he hates cancer. It was unusual because most often we reserve our strength, not for hating, but for getting through...doing the next thing. But also, there's just lots of layers.

We were given the gift of stable results and a continued pause in the treatment that is buying me time. Its all a bonus and I'm so grateful for it.  What I know is there is no such thing as an ordinary days.

So teach us to number our days, That we may cultivate and bring to You a heart of wisdom.

Project 365, Week 4

Snow was the theme of this week. Lots of it.

January 19

We woke up to the pretty kind of snow that sticks to the trees.

Aiden and I zoomed in for the parent portion of his driver's ed. And why not with popcorn? :)

January 20

Thoroughly enjoying birthday flowers.

January 21

More snow. Part of me misses shoveling...the fresh air, the exercise, the satisfaction. The other part of me is happy to be in where its warm and dry.

January 22

It was a spectacular sunset...Shaun sent me a picture, Avery sent me a picture and then half an hour later when Aiden and I drove through, it was still colorful.

January 23

The grilling must go on!

January 24

We watched the overtime part of UCONN winning during a quiet few minutes at the office. Its so fun to work with friends and family.

This was more exciting than my photo reflects. Our church brought back Saturday night services! And this was a "soft opening". My eye was on the camera guy. ;)

January 25

In anticipation of a massive snowstorm, Aiden had his crew come over late morning for a sleepover. They are such an easy group to have around. They played games, watched football, played football, ate real food and so much junk.

Avery and Jack came to get snowed in, too. :)

We did our part with team spirit, Shaun got up and paced during commercials, but the Broncos just couldn't pull out a win.