Project 365, Week 36

We welcomed September, because its here whether we like it or not. Without any kids in traditional school and without kids playing fall soccer September has a very different feel to it.

August 31

Daybreak at the golf course from my sweet boy who is always thinking about me.

September 1

HR Block Corporate asked Nathan to separate his office from Hale Financial after we've shared space and staff for ten years. Such a long story with so many thoughts and emotions. But he signed the lease on the new space and got to work. Levi helped on the first day and Shaun pointed the boys in the right direction. Then Aiden worked right alongside Nathan for the next two weeks.

September 2

Part of Amanda's job description is 'nanny'.

She lead a prayer during their mid-week service, link here. Love watching this girl become.

September 3

With their car down for the day, I did a significant amount of driving the kids to and from work. Thankfully it was one day, thankfully I have the flexibility.

September 4

No picture.

September 5

Heavy parenting weekend. We did some work at the apartment building that's been a summer project. 

Laryssa sent me this of Aiden.

September 6

Such a pretty Sunday afternoon, so the kids opted to do their family fantasy football draft at the lake.

While they played games, Shaun and I took the baby down to the water. Snuggling a baby, looking out at the water, talking with my man...good stuff.

Project 365, Week 35

Life. Wow. 

This week there is lots of Amanda as she got settled into her first week back at Summit. And our household walked through another chemo week and other opportunities to trust God when our eyes cannot see. 

August 24

The empty bedroom down the hall. 😢

But she checked in, all dressed up and ready to report for her first day of work. It made me laugh because I was with Avery at the office and saw they were twining 300 miles apart.

This was a tough day of praying and waiting and trying to stay busy and distracted. It a weighty honor to bear one another's burdens.

August 25

Amanda's corner office with a view.

We took a sliver of time out to celebrate God's mercy and to grieve loss. Bearing one another's burdens.

My sister hosted a blessing night...a chance for the people in Renna's life to speak truth and blessing over her and to call out the good and beautiful things in her. Renna is the last to finish homeschooling through 8th grade and to move on to a high school. Six children my sister has homeschool over these many years. She is a wonder.

August 26

I have never been able to just wake up and go headlong into the day. Always I have needed to get up early. to move my body, to sit slowly with a cup of coffee. To read my Bible and talk to my Jesus, to remind myself and to sing of his love and goodness and might, to get out in nature to witness the sunrise or listen to the leaves rustling or the birds chirping or notice the different shades of green in the grass.

(This would be embarrassing except that I'm 50 years old and am growing more immune to embarrassment with each passing year). The fact that I do these things does not mean I'm a super star. It means I'm super sinful and fickle. In no time, I can construct my own little kingdom where I am the center and the ruler. I begin to "tweak" my theology to make it more pleasing and containable, I am prone to despair. My defaults are selfishness, impatience, judgey-ness.  My mental health starts to get off-balance. Not a formula, if I do this then I'll get a certain result, more a rhythm and way of life that tends towards the right direction.

On ordinary days when I need to be loving to my family, on treatment days when I head into the valley and all of life in-between...I require a lot of work!

Treatment #50. 

August 27

Every other week Amy faithfully loads our refrigerator with enough food to get us through the week. And sometimes she puts flowers on my nightstand. So much love and devotion.

August 28

No picture

August 29

Shaun's morning check-in picture from the lake.

August 30

Amanda's roommate from last year arrived on campus and they were SO happy to be reunited. Shayla is an RA this year and Amanda is an intern, but they are still in the same dorm which means they'll share lots of late nights together.

 

Numbering Days, Week 215-219

Just a quick check-in since its been a month. Already we've cleared out of two treatments and last time was #50. FIFTY. My brain actually can't process that number. I remember back to 12 years ago when we started and thought that eight rounds would be it. Those eight felt like such a tall mountain to climb and each treatment was its own beast. To have done that fifty times, my mind cannot comprehend. 

On that day, sitting in the infusion chair, hooked up to all manner of toxic fluids, I refused to spend the time needed to process how I felt about it. Ultimately it really doesn't matter because its a case of it is what it is.

Outside of cancer, life is full and stretching. I'm continually amazed at how sinful I am and how patient God is. 

Cancer comes with a pair of glasses. When I put them on, its clear to see how precious life is and with lightning speed I'm able to sort through life and put things in important and non important piles. I do it imperfectly, but I'm trying to major on the important and minor on the unimportant. 

I have to (get to) head out in a few minutes for another round. I guess what I want to say is, collectively, let's keep showing up to life. Get the toxic chemicals, dust off the Bible, confide in a friend, seek counseling....let's climb the hill in front of us; face the hard and determine to move forward. The hill is not an obstacle, its the way to a remarkable and more abundant life.

Project 365, Week 34

School talk means the winding down of the summer, which is kind of sad, though I feel like we pulled so much goodness out of these last months so I plant my heart on gratitude.

August 17

Last summer there was considerable discussion before we settled on pulling Aiden from public school and instead have him home doing online college classes for credit. This summer there was no discussion at all because there is no looking back for him...he is highly uninterested in any of the trappings that tradition school offers. Every kid, every family is different and for him and for us, it works well. 

As a high school student he can take two free classes a semester through our state's community colleges. In an attempt to get expertise regarding the program he's working towards, I took him this day in-person. Largely it was as I thought...we're on our own to figure it out. Which is ok. I love getting time with my boy any way that it happens. 

Senior year of high school/second year of college...let's go!!

Ginger appreciated the company that appeared after having the twins over on the weekend. :)

August 18

Creating money-making opportunities for others means hands-on for me, but I love being outside getting something accomplished. Its the earliest I've planted mums, but I wasn't sure when I'd feel up to it again.

Stolen moments with my first born. I'm not doing it perfectly, but I love our friendship that's blooming now that she's an adult.

August 19

Despite all my motivational quotes displayed, this would be the one and only time with this workout partner. 

August 20

Amanda grabbed Renna and we went to help Avery paint her living room.

August 21

I spent some time making the lake house 'prospective tenant showing ready'. Its such a gift to be there, looking out at the water, feeling the breeze, scrubbing toilets, being sanctified. ;)

August 22

Amanda and Shaun loaded up a dorm rooms' worth of belongings into two cars. Then we picked up Jason and Trevor and drove Amanda back to school in PA.

Within seconds of driving through the gate, the kids who were playing in the staff housing area dropped what they were doing and ran to greet Amanda. It was super sweet to see how clearly she is loved and how happy she was to be back.

This is Amanda's dorm for the year, but her room would not be ready for another week, so we carried what she would need immediately and then stuffed her car with the rest. 

This made me smile. Bear and Doggy have been her bosom friends since the beginning and they know her heart the very best.

We stalled for a bit and then within an hour we gave hugs and were back on the road headed home. 

Amanda will serve as an intern, working with the campus pastor and also his wife who is the vice-president of the school. The VP is such a kind and generous women and she is a boss lady who gets things done, and with excellence. I'm grateful Amanda has the opportunity to learn under her.

As it happened, on the car ride these photos came up from 17 years ago, a very average afternoon at the local splash pad with three kids 4 and under. What I knew in part then and have learned even more fully these years later is that the mundane, average day is not ordinary at all.

As we press forward, each new day is a chance to look for the extraordinary in the ordinary.

August 23

After church we spent some time at Avery and Jack's.

Amanda checked in from the Amish farm she was hanging at a friend's grandparents house.