Project 365, Week 7

This week was hard and amazing...so, a normal week. :)

February 14

Valentine's Day! I'm one of those who fully buys into the commercialism of Valentine's Day. Yes, we should show love every day, but also, what could be the harm in making a big deal of a day in February? 

After treatment #4, Amy and I walked across the street from the hotel to Cheesecake Factory. I felt bad pulling Amy away from her family on a special day, but I sure was happy to have her. She's an in-the-trenches-with-you kind of girl.

Every love story is different but ours is my favorite. 

He's not as romantic as I wish he was, but he sure is strong and steady and can shoulder a heavy burden. Though we didn't spend Valentine's together and I didn't get any flowers or poems, I am sure of his love and his commitment to our vows (especially the 'in sickness and in health' part ;)

February 15

We enjoyed a slow morning and breakfast at a cute diner before checking out of the hotel and getting to treatment #5, my last. YAY!! It was so good to head home and say goodbye to being in New York.

February 16

I put on work clothes and makeup and embraced the fake-it-til-you-make-it school of thought. I also way over did it, not quite ready for the 10-hour workday I did, but life goes on.

February 17

These two at their morning post, watching for the school bus. 

Its been so nice to be able to meet with my radiologist via video conference. What would've been a 10-12 hour day is just a quick 15 minute call. Phew!

Now that Avery is 16, she is required to be fingerprinted for DCF purposes. This was take #1 of what ended up being a saga. I kept looking for the hidden camera, certain we'd been setup as a prank. Just...wow. 

Shaun encouraged me at the very beginning of our foster care journey to make peace with the fact that a high level of nonsense comes with DCF. I did, but still it amazes me.

 

February 18

I love my office and the sunlight that streams through.

February 19

My niece had a basketball tournament close-ish, so she spent the night and then Amy and I took the kids to the game. It worked out that we had just the '06 Club, who all have closed-mouth smiles because of their braces. They had so much fun together and Lainie was dominate on the court, scoring the game-winning shot with just seconds on the clock.

Hecklers.

February 20

My dearest friend from our high school days was in town briefly so we snagged a breakfast date. We've never been ones to communicate much when we're apart, but a couple times a year we pick back up where we left off and that time is gold.

These two play games that take days and weeks to complete. I don't understand, so I'm glad they have each other. Makes me smile seeing them together.

 

Doing Battle, Week 73

Sorry I'm days late posting, I didn't want to talk about cancer. :)

I am here, alive and breathing and so much of what I start to say sounds whiny and ungrateful to my ears because...I'm here.

This week was spent actively killing cancer, with five total radiation treatments. Seven years ago I did 30 and honestly didn't even know five existed as an option. But here we are, five treatments later and we're done.  

On January 15th I got "the call". On February 15th, we were driving home from New York after the last of five radiation treatments. Whirlwind I guess is a word for it. In the middle it felt like a lot of waiting...waiting for tests, waiting for results, waiting for relief, waiting for calls. A large part of me has stayed numb, I think, kind of waiting to deal with it until I knew exactly what we were up against. And now that we are here, what I most want to do is move on. 

What's next? The radiologist says I have a couple more weeks of healing. In about two months we'll do another comprehensive spinal MRI and we'll be able to compare it to the one I had two weeks ago. The doctor seems optimistic that they were able to target the area and get what they were after. 

Breakfast out with my boy in New York before #3. How are the kids? has been a natural and frequent question. They have an interesting perspective because cancer has been a part of our family's story for most of their lives. But the experience of living through it is vastly different when you are 12, for instance than when you are five. Even though death is a sure reality for all of it, its tough to have to face it head on that you could lose your mom. 

So we look for ways to make the best of things, like breakfast out together when we should be at school and work.

I know so many of you have been thinking of us and praying. It's been a difficult month, for sure. But also there have been profound blessings and in so many moments I have felt carried by your love and prayers and support. 

Project 365, Week 6

Lots of work to do this week and lots of nothing at all. As is often the case, most of the "work" comes down to bossing my mind and my emotions, purposefully feeding my spirit. Frustration and discouragement were my biggest battles. We laid low the first part of the week and then we got to work, killing cancer.

February 7

Quiet, post work evening...life is sweet when I see my two boys working a crossword puzzle together. 

February 8

Video games with friends and company in the living room, where I set up my post.

February 9

After two years of no concerts, the middle school music teacher was beside himself that they'd been given the green light to start back up. At the last minute, Sarah and Armand came up to get Aiden there and Amy joined them as well. This was the school's seating plan, after they'd arrived in a car together. (??) Anyway! I was happy for the teacher and the students who care and I was grateful for family willing to muscle through a middle school concert. :)

Meanwhile, In New York...after Treatment #1, I was feeling good so we walked across the street for dinner. We were resigned to getting it underway and ever grateful literally for another day. We get to live in the reality that we are not guaranteed tomorrow, and it just changes things.

February 10

Treatment #2, already well documented.

February 11

The night before the family came down to have dinner with me in New York and I decided to keep Aiden. He's easy and good company, and can go with the flow. Actually, all three kids are more than happy to do any amount of time in the cancer center with me. Sometimes I wish the story was different for them, but we have all been uniquely designed to be able to do hard things. 

February 12 

After three days away, I couldn't have been happier to see the sunrise from my own front porch. Home.

February 13

We got just enough snow to be beautiful and a nuisance. I was slow but also happy to be outside and a little bit useful. As a team we got four properties done in no time.

Math lessons, heart talks, intentional time invested....all in a day's work for this super dad of our home.

The kids put together a small gathering for the Super Bowl.

 

February's 10 on 10

10 pictures on the 10th day (Thursday) of the month! 

{Document a snapshot of your life...find beauty among the ordinary things in your day!}

3:00 is pain med time. My body alerts me sometime within the hour. I'm taking an embarrassing amount of pills, but I'm also sleeping well most nights and functioning.

Shaun and I had some time together in the morning, then we grabbed coffee and said goodbye as he headed back to work and the kids and all the things.

My sweet office crew checked in, accidental twinning!

While my pain meds were fresh, I set out on a gorgeous morning, downtown just a block or two from the hotel. It was one of those first days after a long winter that makes you feel like spring will come. The sunshine, the day...such a gift. I pretended I was a lady of leisure, sipping coffee on a park bench, capturing scenes with my camera with no place in particular to be.

Back at the hotel, I watched some photography training, dreaming of a day when I'll put it to good use.

A quick four-minute drive to the cancer center.

I checked in with people....

...people checked in with me. :)

Back at the hotel, I talked to the crew who was home.

After seeing I was feeling well, they hatched a plan to drive the 90 minutes to me. We made lemonade out of lemons and had a regular Thursday night dinner at The Melting Pot, just minutes from where I was staying, just because. It was a lovely couple hours of being together, doing something we all enjoy (and extra special was that it was Sarah's very first adventure with fondue).

At the last minute, I opted to keep Aiden with me, the one who can most easily miss school and the one who had come prepared (he brought a book ;). He's good, easy company.