Project 365, Week 41

There is so much to say that I really should insert a proper intro here, but its been a wonderful weekend and I'm tired and so I'll save it for another post.

October 5 

We got to see our sweet E!!  Her foster family invited us to a festival at their church.  There were lots of games and food and it was just a beautiful New England day to be out.  She's in a good place and is being well cared for, but gosh, we still miss her!

 The girls were scheming a sleepover and talking about little girl things.

Later, Pop and Kiki bought pizza for everyone and we enjoyed my two aunts and uncle, who were visiting from Idaho.

 October 6
I spent the day at my brother's house with his family...so handsome and such a good daddy.  He's one of the good guys.

 October 7
We were out the door at 7:15 AM to drop the girls at school and then to fulfill two appointments at the cancer center.  The first was to get scanned and tattooed with the radiologist and then upstairs to meet with the oncologist and then a blood draw for good measure.

Then we hopped in the car and headed to NYC.  We walked around the city for a bit, then had a nice dinner, where we weren't interrupted by kids even one time.

 We saw our favorite Broadway show for not the first time, but with some minor changes that really enhanced it.

 October 8
The weather was perfect for walking and enjoying the sights and sounds of the city.  Such a beautiful morning walking back to our hotel after breakfast.

 From 10-4 we were at Memorial Sloan Kettering, talking to doctors and getting further testing done. More on that, maybe tomorrow.  The waiting room, where we spent much of the day, was beautiful!

 October 9
Parent/teacher conferences.  Both teachers had good things to say about the girls.

 Aiden was enjoying his new toy.

Soccer now ends at 7:00 and it is DARK.  :( Aiden wanted to guide his sisters to the car with his "light slaver".

October 10
Too nice and sunny on the porch to not do school out there.

October 11
I crossed the finish line after completing all 26.2 miles!!

Signs of Life

Its been just 22 days that I've known I have cancer and already its clear to me our lives will be divided into a before cancer/after cancer timeline, much like we have a before kids/after kids history.  

All of these photos were taken before my diagnosis.  Its been difficult in these 22 days to notice the things I used to...cancer seems to be so consuming, at least in these early days of doctors and tests and decisions.  I hope for next month's post to be noticing and appreciating the small things around me.  Or, maybe, for this season, the signs of life look different to me.  Also, I've no idea why I can't left-justify this paragraph.  :)

Installment #4

Instead of seeing imperfections as thorns in my decorating flesh, I want to open my eyes and see them as signs of life.  These messes all stem from gifts in my life.  I still clean the mud off shoes (or make my boys do it), but I also know that if a neighbor walked in and saw a trail of mud, I wouldn't need to be embarrassed.  Its just proof of lives being lived, and houses are for living.  My home is a reflection of our life, and life's messes can be gloriously beautiful. ~The Nesting Place

Doing Battle, Week 2

I took advantage of my new (non-narcotic) pain meds, got up at 3:30 AM and ran my long run...20 miles.  Both the surgeon and the radiologist are supportive of me running the Marine Corp Marathon the end of this month, which I've been diligently training for since June.  I'll make my final decision on it after meeting with the oncologist tomorrow.

Speaking of being a marathon runner, that is one of the things I've struggled with.  HOW did this happen??  Here are some of the risk factors associated with my type of cancer:

• Over 50 (more than 90% of cases)
• male
• African American
• a diet high in red meats (beef, lamb, liver, hot dogs)
• physical inactivity
• obesity
• smoking
• heavy alcohol use
• Type II diabetes

Its obvious that I don't fall into most of those just by taking a quick glance at me.  But additionally, I have exercised 3-7 days a week, religiously, since I was 13.  Nearly all of my food choices are made based on whether its good for me or not....I eat really well, lots of fruits and vegetables, avoiding processed foods and junk.  I drink green tea every day.  I wear the same size I did when we got married.  I've had exactly one sexual partner, who has had exactly one sexual partner.  I make sure to get at least 7 hours of sleep every night and I don't "do" stress.  I've never, not once had a cigarette and I do NOT eat lamb, liver or hot dogs.

In short, health has been a very important, prioritized part of my life since always.  So how did we get here?  Admittedly I'm a little bitter that after deliberately taking really good care of myself this still happened, but several have pointed out the flip side of it.

Because I'm so healthy, well...except for the whole cancer thing, I will be that much more well-equipped to fight it.  My body is strong and not "behind the eight ball".  Also, the smoking and hot dog jokes have been good. :)

This past week we met with the radiologist, who was kind and methodical and made me feel like I was his only patient for the day, even though I got squeezed in on a moment's notice.  The cancer facility is new and beautiful (and also unnerving with a large wig display in the lobby...I don't think I've mentioned it, but its unlikely I will lose my hair).  Shaun and I felt very comfortable using this doctor and this facility.  Radiation will be five days a week for six weeks, so I'll get to know every one there quite well.  The treatments will be 15-20 minutes, with an hour roundtrip driving.  I'll be able to have the same appointment time every day so it can just become part of our daily routine.

We underwent more testing this week, too.  A full-body MRI and a chest CT Scan, just to verify none of the bad cells have gotten any big ideas about heading in different directions.

This past weekend we did the usual weekend stuff you do when you have four active kids and we also got some good family time.  It was nice to have it "off" from testing, doctors, and carrying my phone around with the ringer on loud.

We have a big week coming up with test results, doctors appointments, more testing.  So, so many are praying, an army really, all over the country and we are so grateful.  I really believe that is what is carrying us and lessening the burden.  God IS at work!

The texts, emails, cards, messages...all so very encouraging.  Its truly humbling to know people care so deeply and are thinking of us so often.  Thank you.

Project 365, Week 40

To my surprise, I took some pictures this week. :)  Actually, quite a few.

The cancer "stuff" is so consuming, both in our thoughts and practically.  We're waiting for phone calls or going to appointments or filling out paperwork and just generally thinking about it a LOT.  And all the while, life...regular, everyday, wonderful life....is layered on top of it.  It is strange and hard to explain.

September 28

Pillars of Fire was performed at 3:30 and 6:30.  I took pictures during the first show and got to see the family briefly.

 After, I went to pick up Aiden, who had been with Colombo and cousins all day.  It was such a beautiful day and I thought it was brave and sweet of Colombo to take the kids on an outing to the corn maze/pumpkin patch.  Reports came back that it was pretty awesome.

September 29
Busy, busy.

 Digging, talking.  Talking, digging.

September 30
Surreal to step foot in the cancer center for my own benefit.  Shaun and I had a 20 minute date in the cafe while we waited for our appointment.

October 1
Have no fear...the super heroes are here!  Amy brought lunch and cousins to play with.

The girls had the opportunity to join a knitting club at school and this was the first day.  They came home ecstatic about it and Amanda, in particular, really enjoyed it.  (The next morning she said, oh I'm so glad we're walking to school so I have more time to knit!  and Is knitting a sport?  No, its more like a hobby.  Ok.  Knitting is my favorite hobby!)  I hope it lasts.

We all went to visit Great-Grandpa.  Shaun and I were shocked and saddened to see how rapidly he is failing, even from the last time we saw him a week or two ago.

 On the way home we stopped at a little diner and shared the table with some silly kids.

October 2
It was a six-hour production to get the full body MRI and chest CT Scans done.  Having had to fast, getting needles I wasn't expecting and being in the hospital environment for many hours left me feeling sick and spent.  We collected Aiden and had lunch/dinner at my favorite place, and I felt worlds better after eating and sitting (on one side of the booth) with my two best boys.

October 3
R's big homecoming game.  What you can't see in Aiden's getup is that he's wearing shorts....and winter boots.  :)

 #60

 No fair weather fans here...Brrr!

October 4
Speaking of brrr...and wet!  I took this picture during the two minutes we were not holding an umbrella.

 Amanda was delighted to play goalie the entire game and she did really well despite slippery conditions.

Shaun's mom put together a party for his youngest brother, who is turning 30.  Sarah put together a slideshow and it helped me reminisce about the early days.  I met Shaun's family for the first time just before Micah was born and by the time he was six, Shaun and I were an item.  It makes me feel old but it also makes me feel blessed to have been a part.  Now Micah is married with two kids and, as Sarah said in the slideshow, he is both loyal and compassionate.

The cards and gifts provided some good laughs.

Homecoming dance.  R and Tori made a cute couple for the evening.  He's still sleeping, but I'm anxious to hear how it went!

They hung out at the house for about 45 minutes before leaving for the dance.  Avery played her little sister role to perfection.  Good times!

Like Shaun said, soon enough it will be her going on the date and Aiden being that kid brother.