A win for me this week was that my red and white blood cell counts were at or higher than the levels from last time. I attribute this to prayer and the focus I gave to exercise and almost exclusively eating cell-building foods. When I show up for treatment, the first thing they do is draw blood, then it takes about an hour to process that and get the "all clear" to go forward with treatment. While I don't want to receive chemo, even more so I don't want to get turned away.
While I waited, I wrote first-day-of-school notes to the kids. I SO love being their mom.
My appointment was in the evening so after school and soccer the kids joined in for Taco Tuesday at cousins. Its such a game changer that Avery can drive them.
Where there is a will, there's a way. Well, not always, but today my desire and will to watch the girls play soccer won out over the pain and sickness. With my chemo pump still attached, I sat and watched them. I was rewarded by the sweetest hug from Avery. When the team was done with warmups and jogged over to the bench, Avery ran to the opposite side to give me a hug, surprised and delighted to see me there. It made the effort completely worth it!
Someone pointed me to Psalm 31 this week. Its a song of lament. Only if you have been through some tough things can the words resonate. Verse 14 caught me: But I trust in you, O lord; I say, "You are my God." My times are in your hand; My study Bible says This trust is built not only on the experiences recounted but also on the promises of the covenant. The God who has made promises and who has kept them in the past will continue to do so.
Goodness, I can look in the past and see God's faithfulness all over my life and always He has come through on His promises. This means instead of working at worry, I can work at placing my trust in the God who has been faithful and good all my life. That leaves me in peace. Of course, this is not a fix-it-and-forget-it. Sometimes its daily, more often its hour by hour. This I know, He is enough. For me and for you. And He can be trusted.
I was well enough to participate in LobsterFest this past weekend. There are few things that bring me more joy than having my house full of my people. At one point we were all gathered in the kitchen and a dozen different emotions were competing in my heart. Mostly, I was just struck by how blessed I am.
Blessed—in abundance indeed! Your comment about working at placing your trust in an always-faithful God rather than working on worry hits home for me. In my personal Bible study today, that very sentiment kept popping up at me and I wrote a reminder to myself to turn from the false idol of fear and worry and instead to trusting God who rules with power and lovingkindness. He is reminding both of our hearts of His worthy trust. Praying for you always, friend.
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