Numbering Days, Week 16

This week was both a win and hugely frustrating. 

The win: we had a two-day work conference that we extended an extra two days and brought the family. Amanda invited a couple friends and we made it a birthday celebration for her upcoming 16th birthday. I was able to go and we had a great time being together. I was also able to fully participate in the business part of the trip.

The frustration: Since my last visit with the doctor more than two weeks ago, I've been asking about my next treatment appointment. Despite calling and sending messages, they didn't get it scheduled in time. So instead of having treatment this past Wednesday, which would have had me feeling good for Thanksgiving Day, they squeezed me in on Monday, but in the city. Its such an extra hassle when we go to Manhattan and it gets me off of the schedule I wanted to be on.

At the conference, we heard from Jon Acuff, a speaker/writer I have loosely followed for many years. He introduced the idea of soundtracks. The longer we listen to repetitive thoughts, the more it becomes part of the playlist of our lives. The soundtrack changes everything and we have a soundtrack for every part of our lives. He challenged us to ask the loudest soundtracks these questions:

Is it still true? (don't assume all your thoughts are true)

Is it helpful? (does the soundtrack push us forward or pull us back)

Is it kind? 

Everyday I get to choose what I focus on, I choose where I want to point my heart and the thoughts I want my mind to dwell on. The thoughts that arrive on the doorstep of my mind without intention are often energy-draining and not useful for the task at hand. So, imperfectly, I fix my mind on what is true and helpful and good. Everyday I wake up with life before me, people who love me, a God who is sovereign and trustworthy and sees me. And usually that's where I land.

But also this week I was just very sad that I will have to leave my people. I don't want to. I want to stay in this life that I have. This is hard.

Shaun sits with me and holds me and reminds me we just need to do today. And so we both do the work to be grateful for this day because this is what we have. It's all any of us have. 

I'm grateful for today, for the many ways we are loved and cared for and prayed for. Thank you, Tireless Team....we feel as though we are being carried.