Numbering Days, Week 104-109

When they give me an inch, I take a mile. I don't give cancer a second more attention than I have to so when they give me a two-month break, I begin to imagine that its all behind me, that the last treatment was the last treatment, that many decades are stretched before me. My body reminds me that things are still amiss, but hope and faith spring eternal.

Recently, I did labs and scans (accompanied by a most faithful companion) and a follow-up with the doctor. My oncologist said the results look really good and things are holding steady enough that she is comfortable extending my treatment break another two months. Such good news!!!

I have spent these last almost two months of break recovering. The targeted treatment, as they call it (given in addition to chemo since last fall) has different side effects than chemo...lots of skin-related issues. Now that its been many weeks since my last treatment, most of the issues have either cleared up or are toned way down. Sweet mercy.

While my body has been mending itself, with a little help from lotions and potions, I have been soaking up the summer. It is true that you can be in pain while also marveling at the sweetness of life. It is a wonder to me that my Creator knows me by name, that a flower can be so incredibly detailed, that I could be loved so well. I am in awe that God allowed me to be a mother, that the sun comes up each day, that peace can feel so complete.

Life is so very brutal and beautiful.

“I believe in seeking out beauty absolutely every chance we get, as an act of prayer, as an act of worship, as an act of resistance. I believe in going out of our way if it means getting to see the water or the mountains or the sky streaked with colors. I believe in attending the sunset the way some people buy fancy theater tickets.” 

~Shauna Niequist