Numbering Days, Week 220-223

September brings with it staggering beauty and also a time of weighty reflection for me. I don't mean for it to be, it just shows up year after year. Its our BC/AD month. There was our life before cancer and there is our life after the diagnosis, and a very distinct and permanent line was drawn.

Its been 12 years since we became a "medical family". Its been 12 years since Shaun sat us all in a circle on the floor and shared the news with our sweet and little and naive children and we all cried and prayed together. Twelve years, just three of them without some sort of treatment or surgery or radiation. So much told (wow, I share a lot!) and untold (take my word for it) hard. 

[So many of you have been here for much or all of these 12 years and have done some of the roller coaster ride with us. Thank you for checking in, thank you for your love and prayers for our family.]

Here today, through it all, we know with so much assurance that God is faithful. We have found Him to be trustworthy. Jesus has made His presence known time and again and we have a hope that cannot be shaken. 

I am undone by the gift of this bonus time I've been given. God has allowed me to be here to watch my kids grow (Aiden growing from the shortest to the tallest:)) and to be part of so many important and sweet milestones in my family. I hold it all with open and grateful hands. Truly, it is all grace.

You were answering my prayers

And I didn't even know
When I was standing in the fire
You were there all along
I didn't understand it
Didn't realize I was changing
'Cause the greatest miracle
That I ever see You do
Is the one inside of me

You've got me in the middle of a miracle 

God, thank you for the miracle you have done inside me. I'm not who I was. From Chemo #1 to #53 and everything in between, his grace has been sufficient.

And always, this boy by my side. His tender care, strength and steadfastness are unmatched. (And we made it to gray!!)