11th Annual Lobster Fest

Sometimes we see another's family pic in the midst of struggling with our own, and we can't visualize them with our same struggles, imperfect pasts and sanctifying circumstances. But let our smiles here be a testimony, not to any good of our own, but to this: That we serve a God who redeems, who never stops transforming, and who shows Himself great by writing His story upon the lives of the least likely. ~Ruth Simmons

Over Labor Day weekend we celebrated our annual Lobster Fest, which we've talked about re-branding to Steak Fest because most of us prefer land animals to sea creatures. Whatever you want to call it, it is two days of fun family time. The weather both days begged us to be outside, seizing the last days of summer.

Saturday we hung out by (or in) my sister's pool. The girls put out a lovely spread for lunch and the Boyds treated everyone to pizza. Tony's Pizza is a long-standing favorite...its three minutes from my house but 30 minutes from Amy's (and they don't deliver that far). What to do? What to do? Oh! We could send the newly-licensed 16 year-old! It seemed like a great idea until he actually left, and then was gone over an hour. There was more than one adult anxiously watching the driveway for his return, which he did...safely. Just his second time driving by himself, the first was to DQ. Ha!

The pictures kind of tell the story of the day (photos from me, Amy and Elizabeth)

SATURDAY:

I was just a few days removed from treatment, so there were no expectations on me. Uncle Lee set up tables and decorations, everyone brought food and Amy, Melody and Aunt Bonnie did a great job pulling it all together without any input from me. In my past life this would have ruffled my pride, now I'm just grateful.

SUNDAY:

We were missing my cousin Johnny in CA and my sister Bethany in TX so during dessert we Facetimed with them both.

So blessed (we were missing Amanda for the most of the day while she was playing in a soccer tournament).

Doing Battle, Week 50

We'll begin this week's report with good news (though you don't have to hold your breath for the bad news...there really isn't any).

On September 2nd, exactly two months after surgery, we found ourselves back in the city yet again. Shaun and I got up at 3 AM to leave for the city and returned home at 11:30 PM. That was a long day.

We walked into Sloan at 6:50 AM because we'd been told to be there at 7:00 to have time to prepare for my 8:00 CT Scan. We were informed that the floor didn't open until 7:30. Puzzling, but we decided to make the best of it and go next door to get breakfast sandwiches/wraps. Shaun sacrificed the indoor AC so I could sit outside. He thought it was humid, I thought it was beautiful.

Back next door, we checked into my first appointment and were told they wouldn't be starting scans until 8:00, so we plunked down in the waiting room. Waiting would become a theme of the day.

It was the easiest CT Scan I've had...no drink to down beforehand and no contrast dye (so no needle!). It was just a chest scan to have a baseline before we started chemo.

Then it was wait to be called for labs and vitals. I discovered they use a vein, not my port, for blood work. A year ago that would have really thrown me, this time a sigh barely escaped.

Next, we headed to see my surgeon. We waited an hour in the exam room and were just about to call it quits when she came in. The update on the wound/vacuum: Monday when the nurse came, it was determined my wound no longer fit into the fairly stringent vacuum guidelines so she left it off. Wednesday when the surgeon looked at it she said she was pleased with how its looking. "Should only be four more weeks until its healed. Wait...you'll be on chemo, so six weeks." Six more weeks?!? But...no more vacuum and for that I'm grateful.

The oncologist was next and we pretty much reviewed what we'd talked about two weeks prior. She assured us she would be onsite the entire day and that the chemo team had been adequately alerted to the potential for a reaction.

From there, we waited about two hours to be called into the "Chemotherapy Suite". We quickly got settled into our little corner booth, which has lots of upgrades over my last place. We have a privacy curtain, a view of the city and my recliner is remote-control operated. We're moving up in the world!

The nurse got right to work doing what they do. It was an hour of the "pre stuff", then I got a healthy dose of benadryl through the IV then three hours of the chemo drugs. Then more benadryl, then another three hours of the chemo drug. It worked! I had no reaction! We were so thankful when we finished about 8:30 PM and we'd been able to get through the entire treatment without incident, using the ideal drug combination.

When we got home late, we found messages taped to our bedroom door from the girls, imploring us to "stay in bed and relax" in the morning because the kids had had a meeting and decided they were going to "muscle down" and get the before-school routine done without our involvement. So sweet!

I spent a couple days being chemo sick and tired, but by the weekend I was well enough to participate in what was going on, which was lots of heart-filling family time. I am loved big and there was no shortage and people making sure I was comfortable and rested. :)

Honestly, even though I've no doubt this is the best course of action, its hard to be back into treatments, back doing all this yucky stuff. But then someone will remind me there's just five left and that doesn't sound too terrible. Five more, and definitely counting!

I really enjoy our morning drives into the city. Its quiet time together and we get to watch the morning break.

Our breakfast spot.

One of many packed waiting rooms.

Here the nurse is teaching Shaun how to take down my pump at home after 48 hours. Ahhh...this man. He's got somewhat of a reputation with the nurses of being an excellent, hands-on caregiver who is a big help to them. This couldn't possibly be what he was picturing when he vowed in sickness and in health on that beautiful May afternoon all those years ago and I hate that its been asked of him. Yet he loves me so well. Day after day after day.

A view from my recliner.

Treatment #1. Its really #9, but if I count from the very beginning I'll run out of fingers. :)

Me in action in blessed normal life...

For a couple weeks now I've been so focused on God's bigness and the ridiculousness of us thinking any of this is about us. I'm typing right now because God designed my brain to be able to communicate to my fingers to move in rhythm with the thoughts in my head. My eyes are blinking every so often, without even a consideration from me. There is an almost undetectable rise and fall to my chest as I breathe air. I couldn't live without that breath and every bit of it happens because that is what God has designed.

He created me and has numbered my days. Its His breath in my lungs.

When I think of him so big and so perfectly sovereign, its easy to lean into this place where he has us right now. Surrender is not a struggle because he can be trusted. I want to commit my life to his purposes so he can do something bigger and more beautiful than I ever could on my own. Its all about Him.

Its Your breath in our lungs

So we pour out our praise 

We pour out our praise

Its Your breath in our lungs

So we pour out our praise

To You only

So if you are suffering in a manner that pleases God, keep on doing what is right, and trust your lives to the God who created you, for he will never fail you. 1 Peter 4:19

Project 365, Week 36

I'm late posting for good reason....we had a fun-filled family weekend, our annual Lobster Fest. We talked about options because it was going to be just four days after my first treatment, but I really wanted it to happen if at all possible. It was possible and it did happen and I'm so glad!

This week was full and varied with highs and lows but chock full of blessings. We mixed and matched summer and fall with swimming and grilling and soccer and homework.

August 30
I had a couple days without the vacuum and before chemo, so I got to go to church! I also had this handsome group with me.

August 31

Homework is a reality Aiden's starting to settle into.

This sweetie is two months old. I got to hold my niece and take pictures of her for the first time.

September 1

I drove an hour each way to drop this little guy off at his first day of Kindergarten. He was so excited to start school, and that his mom (foster mom) was going to pick him up from school. 

What a sweet, energetic boy who's already been through so much in his five short years. I feel so thankful we could show him love and speak life into him and be a small part of his story.

Shaun worked to exhaustion getting a few projects done around the house. I'm thrilled with how the stairs and third floor landing came out. The walls just need some pictures now.

September 2
In New York City for the day, hanging at the cancer center. Whatever we walk through, I'm so very grateful to be with this guy.

September 3
The kids had the dining room transformed into a tent city.

September 4
My only picture from the day. This is the new chemo pump I go home with. It runs on my body heat and is soundless and does not vibrate. What a delightful difference over the one I had last winter! You would be appalled if you knew all the little things that make me happy these days. :)

September 5
Lobster Fest weekend (and of course I'll have a recap coming). After a big breakfast, we headed to my sister's for the day. The day was just right, hanging by the pool, enjoying the summer air.

September 6
Another amazing year for the books. This group looks so tiny to me after our OBX picture.