Project 365, Week 45

After a weekend of soccer the season ended for all three kids and this was the in between week before basketball, which meant our evenings weren't spoken for other than homework. If that wasn't enough, the weather was unseasonably warm, some days reaching the 70's and with each day I felt better and better. With our time outside we raked. I love the fresh air, exercise and time together and I delight in the ordinary.

I think sometimes its important to point out that none of the hard of our week is pictured here. Not because we didn't have any. Some of it is not anything tangible that I could take a picture of, some of it is not my story to tell, some of it would come up in conversation if we were drinking coffee together. Beyond that, I make a conscious choice each day to have a thankful heart. I know that God is always at work so each day on the way to school I pray with the kids that we would be aware of His presence and in tune to the things He is doing. If He is working, I want to know about it! 

I try to spend my days seeking out the good, taking pictures in my head and with my camera of the beauty and grace that is in the ordinary and the hard of everyday life.

November 1

The last of soccer! Amanda got to play under the lights and Avery got to play in a dome.

November 2

Silly, silly boy...and such fun company! (yeah...he still does the backwards clothes and shoes thing a lot. In fact this week he came down once with his school dress shirt inside out and buttoned. I tried to put his tie on but the collar wasn't working. Aiden, was your shirt hard to button this morning? Yeah, a little bit. :)

November 3
We met some cousins at my mom's nearly deserted campground. The kids romped around in the leaves and threw sticks and rocks in the river.

Then we took a very short hike to a clearing. We'd only been in the short-grass meadow a short time before Alayna came over saying she had a tick on her arm. Minutes later Amanda came over saying she had a tick on her pants. I picked it off and more than a dozen others! We freaked and couldn't get out of there fast enough and home to the shower! Ewww, yuck, eeek! Remarkably, none of us dreamed of creeping, crawling things that night.

A very pretty and early sunset that Avery got a picture of.

November 4
We visited Grandma and Great-Grandpa. The kids were trying to get a helicopter in flight, but it didn't cooperate.

November 5
Aiden was ready early, so he headed out to get some work done before school.

Later when the big kid got up, I suggested that raking might be a good way to get some exercise. ;). I worked along side him and we got some good time together that doesn't happen very often now with his full school, work and social life.

November 6
Amanda had been asking if she could get a planner, wanting to set some goals and organize her weeks. I am ALL about planners and lists and organization, so she didn't need to ask twice. I looked online for what I thought would be the perfect one and ordered one for Avery and one for Amanda, along with a set of multi-colored pens (a necessity in filling out planners, don't you think ;).

The girls were ecstatic to find the surprise waiting on their beds and they wanted to get right to work filling them out. So we wrote in family members birthdays, days off of school, etc. My heart swelled at their enthusiasm and desire. SO precious!

November 7
I went out to rake to get some fresh air and exercise. Then the kids slowly joined me so I stayed to be with them and ended up staying out for a while. I was tired and getting ready to head in, when my neighbor came over with a leaf blower, so then obviously I stayed. He and I finished the whole yard! I'm so grateful for good, caring neighbors which we've had in our last two houses. Also, it will be several days before I'll need to/be able to do any upper body strength training. :)

Earlier in the day when we'd just started Amanda asked if we could rake the neighbor's front lawn. So the three of us cleared it and talked about what a blessing it is to do things for other people, especially when they don't find out who it was that gave or did. Then, just hours later, our other neighbor came with his leaf blower. It was a cool thing for the kids to witness how kindness can spread.

Lastly, Aiden. I got home from an early-morning walk to find an all-sleeping house, except for Aiden, who greeted me like this. When he saw my face, he tentatively asked, Is it Saturday??

And then he had a near-perfect day....

Without soccer to run out to, he settled into his legos for a couple hours (shorts on backwards, though he got this particular shirt right for the first time ever, I think).

He quickly joined me in the raking, happy to be working.

Playing with sisters in his brotherly way.

Hosanna, to the Son of David, blessed is the King of Israel...Hosanna! :)

All spiffied up for church. Buddy, its going to get cold tonight...you might get chilly. No, I'll be fine. Okay, well, can I iron that shirt for you? (looks down at it, smooths it with his hands). No Mom, its good. Alrighty then...have a great time!

And as if the day couldn't get any better...chicken tenders and fries for dinner!

Hope your week is great!!

Friday Favorites

And sometimes, when the cry is intense, there emerges a radiance which elsewhere seldom appears: a glow of courage, of love, of insight, of selflessness, of faith. In that radiance we see best what humanity was meant to be...In the valley of suffering, despair and bitterness are brewed. But there also character is made. The valley of suffering is the vale of soul-making. 

~Nicholas Wolterstorff

He's Greater

Doing Battle, Week 58

This week we completed treatment number 4 (or 12, but who's counting?? I know...we ALL are!) I've had several remind me that November is the month when I will be done. While I'm hopeful that is true, I'm also very mindful that the finish line has already been moved. The question my mind asks, both flippantly and fearfully is, what else is left for them to do?? Its a question that will remain unasked, because I am just. doing. today. Its truly all I can handle because its all I've been given grace for.

The oncologist decreased the dosage this round because my white blood counts were not where they needed to be. This is pretty normal (though not for me) but still frustrating, essentially because its out of my control. Despite the fact that I felt good most of the week, that I exercised, ate protein and "good stuff" at every meal, and got plenty of sleep, I couldn't make my counts do what I wanted them to do. It just comes down to what the lab report says.

As always, perspective was just around the corner as we overheard the patient next door being sent to urgent care instead of to the treatment suite. It sent shivers up and down my spine.

Because of the change in orders, they had to remix my drugs, which gave us time to stop in and see my surgeon. She didn't have much in the way of news, but it was so good to see her. We have a unique, special relationship. Is this normal? I suspect it must be when you've gone through what we've gone through together.  I understand I am one patient among multitudes but I feel like she cares very deeply and knows me as more than a medical chart. What favor and blessing!

Yesterday I watched the NYC Marathon unfold. So inspiring to see strong bodies and human spirits doing such an incredible feat. (Just for the record, the incredible feat is the months of training on good days and bad that happen before you get to the starting line). It hasn't been a race on my list, mostly because of its size and time of year and difficulty to get into, but Shaun thinks I should do it as somewhat of a redemptive act. I picture my hospital-gowned self who, earlier this year, greatly struggled to walk 20 feet with the assistance of a walker and two strong men and I think...maybe, just maybe what seems impossible now just might be possible.

But today I will so what I do best...TODAY! and I will spend this week gaining strength, growing white blood cells :) and enjoying better-than-we-deserve November weather.

Each season the MSK computer screensaver photos change, photos taken by Sloan staff. This is my fifth season and these are my favorites from this fall.

So thankful for and humbled by the endless stream of cards, texts, emails. Its just so incredible to know I have such a devoted, faith-filled team. Thank you.

I have a book problem. Sometimes I'm not up for reading at all and laying still in the dark is best, other times I need something that doesn't cause me to think or can be read in short clips. Or sometimes I'm looking for wisdom and a new revelation. I'm very thankful for the library and my Kindle, accompanied by Bookbub and a generous Amazon gift card.

Shaun picked up gloves that work perfectly for reaching into the refrigerator. One of the drugs causes cold sensitivity...my hands and feet get painfully tingling and my face numbs up. Sometimes my fingers will get "stuck" in a position and I have to use my other hand to right it. These are very odd sensations but largely controlled by staying warm enough.

How sweet is this, from my home nurse for the kids??

My God is so big, so strong and so mighty there's nothing my God cannot do.

His delight is not in the strength of the horse, nor his pleasure in the legs of a man, but the Lord takes pleasure in those who fear Him, in those who hope in His steadfast love. Psalm 147:10-11

I don't have to be strong or perform to earn God's love. He delights in a heart that fears and hopes in him. I like that.

Project 365, Week 44

Wow...looking back at pictures, seven days ago feels like a loong time. Lots of life, lots of hard, lots of grace.

Its November! The perfect time to practice gratitude. Our hearts don't always default to gratitude...sometimes we have to choose it and Thanksgiving month is the perfect time to develop the habit of first being grateful.

October 25

There's still a significant part of our fixer upper that needs fixing up and this day we had some teamwork going.

October 26
It was my mom's birthday so we did a little hike near her house. My kids were in school but my brother and sister and their homeschooling families were there with some of my mom's 18 grandkids. Elizabeth put a scavenger hunt together that kept everyone happy and busy.

 The scene was simply breathtaking as the moon came up over the trees in the open field at soccer practice. This iPhone photo is a poor snapshot but it reminds me of the magnificence of those moments of feeling small compared to a very big God.

October 27
I stayed tucked warmly in my car during Aiden's cold practice.

October 28
Another NYC day, arriving in the dark...

...and leaving in the dark.

October 29
Looking out my bedroom window, wishing I was playing and raking with the kids.

October 30
This year at our Awana's fall party, we had Vadar, Princess Leia and a coach. Thankfully Amy came down for a bit and was able to do Amanda's hair.

October 31
Big leaf!

Shaun worked a long, hard day dealing with an apartment vacancy so I was on soccer duty. I wasn't really up for it, but the kids did so great. I was able to just stay in the car and they handled everything perfectly.