Amanda Turns Nine

My sister posted some pictures of Amanda's birthday on her blog and I realized I never did! You can't miss stuff like that with the middle kid! ;)

As things turned out, I ended up having to be in NYC for treatment that day, the day after Thanksgiving. Our family came to the rescue and we had multiple offers to take the kids and make Amanda's day special. In the end, what she wanted most was to be with Trevor and watch a movie. And go to CEC.

Auntie Amy made all her wishes come true. Amanda started the day on screens, something she gets very little of but really, really likes. She even got to hold the laptop for all to see! Uncle C made pancakes and she tried to blow out a trick candle. Later they went to the theater to see Charlie Brown and then went across the street to Chuck's. Then Amy met up with Uncle Nathan and Nana and crew and they went to our Main Street to watch the Christmas Tree lighting and the light parade. While she was gone, a sweet friend dropped off a card and candy.

It was desperately hard for me to not be with her, but I'm not sure she noted my absence. Or maybe she did notice it in a yay-mom's-not-here-I-get-extra-screen-time sort of way. ;) I'm so thankful for many reaching out to want to fill in the gap for us. Its been a constant theme over the last year and we are grateful!

At nine Amanda is growing and changing. I love being her mom, even though sometimes I wonder if I'm doing it all wrong. She sends me to my knees looking for wisdom and that's a good thing. She thinks deeply and has an old soul and at the same time a playful spirit. She is passionate and loyal. Its so fun knowing her!

Amy, thanks for taking time that you didn't have to make her day so special. You hit all her buttons and her love tank was filled.  

Nine! How can that be??

All the kids surprised Amanda by pooling their CEC tickets together and "buying" Amanda a couple prized possessions. So sweet!

The day, for Thanksgiving dessert, we had cake for Amanda and her two cousins...their birthdays are November 25, 27, 29!

My 40th Birthday

My plan for turning 40 was to travel to Los Angeles and run the marathon that supports the efforts of the DreamCenter. Obviously those plans changed, so after Christmas I implored Shaun to not do anything for my birthday, knowing it would land on a treatment week and, quite frankly, just being really sick of feeling like every day is Lisa Day.

However, my warning went unheeded and he gave Amy permission to forge ahead with a surprise party. Since I can't go out anywhere, she decided to bring the party to me. Literally, she brought decorations, food, everything and, with the help of some trusty assistants, had it all set up in the time it took me to get ready.  And really, even though it had to be, the perfect location was in my home...I love having the walls filled with people.

Aiden came to escort me downstairs for the "surprise before the surprise".

I was shocked to find my friend, who just days before I'd Facetimed with from her home in Denver, standing in my dining room. Shocking! Shelva flew across the country on days notice just to see me and to be at my party! Such love!

Maddy was a big help, keeping her mom on track, helping the girls look presentable and doing my makeup.

Lil and Meg have been steadies in my life for many years now. They have such servant's hearts and helped make everything happen flawlessly "behind the scenes". Meg is also the one who took all these pictures.

Heart. Breaker.

Amy lined up several people to share something....my dad, my mom, Shaun, my brother Tim, Amy and Shelva. I was blown away. They told stories from many years ago and spoke generously and lovingly about me (and didn't give away too many of my childhood secrets ;). Very touching. The girl they described is not the one I bring before the Lord each morning and beg Him to "make me more like You".

I kept looking around the room, marveling at the 35 or so people gathered in my dining room. These people have stepped in really close to us over the last four months when it would have been easier to just take a quiet step back and wait til this whole cancer thing blew over. They are beautiful, amazing people who are so quick to give and love. They are inspiring and make me want to be better and live with a heart wide open.

I'm so grateful to Amy for all the work and thought she put in to making the evening as special and perfect as it was.  At just 22 months apart we were each other's first friend and we've been through a whole lot together. She knows me like no other. I joke that I'm glad we're sisters because there's no way we would have been friends otherwise. She truly is a rare treasure and I'm so thankful she's mine.

Many people have asked me how I feel about turning forty and I actually have two slightly varying answers to that, one pre-September 19th and one post. My pre-September 19th answer would have been that 40 feels comfortable...it feels right. Though my skin is saggier and my hair grayer, there are many things I had to worry about and work through in my 20's and 30's that are settled now. God has changed me and grown me in so many areas. Shaun and I are reaping the rewards of time and effort we've invested in our marriage and our love, though not perfect, has never been sweeter. I love being a mom and am enjoying these school-age years. I think of the song that inspired my blog name:

I have been blessed
And I feel like I've found my way
I thank God for all I've been given
At the end of every day
I have been blessed
With so much more than I deserve
To be here with the ones
That love me
To love them so much it hurts
I have been blessed

My post-September 19th answer can be summed up in the words of my father-in-law, who has done his own battle with cancer:

As I got older, I started dreading birthdays. Now I consider each one a precious gift from God.

So true. We all think we have this big long road stretched before us and, though we know in theory that life ends at some point, we don't actually live that out in reality. But when you come face-to-face with something that makes you realize for certain that life is indeed terminal, you begin to look at each new day, each new birthday with a certain amount of awe and wonder and gratefulness.

Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will 

dwell in the house of the Lord forever. 

Psalm 23:6

My Birthday

Today is my birthday.  Here's a flattering little photoshoot Aiden did of me the other night at Z's basketball game.  :)

And since its my birthday, I thought this would be the most appropriate day to re-post something my friend had written on her blog, shortly after our time together in Denver this summer. 

Its beautifully written, generous, humbling and yes...slightly embarrassing.  But I wanted to make sure I keep it for all time.

22 years and counting

I am not sure how you describe a friendship or a friend that you have known and loved 

for 22 years and counting.  Where do I begin except back when I was a kid in youth 

group and I met this other kid in youth group we were opposites but I guess it is true 

they do attract at least that has been true for Lisa and I.  We met and became friends 

and now 22 years later we still laugh, love, laugh, love, laugh, and love each other.  

We have been out to breakfast so many times in our 22 years and I can't remember a 

time when we didn't laugh.  One breakfast just a few years ago we were laughing so 

hard the restaurant was staring and other people were laughing.  I still remember the

 story but can't explain except to say it had to do with her brother on a horse with a 

sword which made  no sense and was hysterical.

Lisa has been a constant in my life journey and I can't imagine the pictures of my
 life and my memories without her.  If you know her you know she is kind, 
determined, quiet, horrible with directions, an amazing woman, mother and wife, 
.she is disciplined, she gets things done, she is honorable, faithful, and a prayer 
warrior (I know I have felt her prayers many times in life), she is an amazing 
photographer, she falls asleep fast and sleeps hard, she is fun and loves to laugh,  
she loves coffee just with cream, blueberry pancakes no syrup, and dogs although
 she tolerates them are not her favorite,  she loves the smell of new babies, and her 
home is  a place you love to be because she has an open door policy all the time,  
she is constant, consistent, and true to who God has created her to be and I am 
blessed a thousand times over to call her my friend.

On her short visit this past month I was reminded again how God brought this 
amazing woman into my life for a lifetime not a brief moment not for a short time but
 for the long haul of this life's journey.  When we became friends I knew it would be 
forever I knew I  had found a person who God had given me to share the highs and 
lows of life with and I am so blessed and honored to be on this journey with her.  In 
life we have so few people who last a lifetime with us besides our families but I know 
in my heart Lisa is a lifetimer for me and I never take for granted the blessing God has 
given me in our friendship.

Lisa I pray you know that my heart is always fuller after being with you.  God has 

given you so  many gifts and it is a true joy to watch you use them to make the
 world better and to make me better.  Your friendship has blessed me for 22 years 
and I look forward to at least 22 more years of knowing you and being known by you.  
My prayer is that the God of mercy and love we both serve will continue to guide us 
both in life, in love, and in friendship may we always point one another back to the 
God who gave us one another.  I love you my dear friend thanks for the sleep over 
at my house and the past 22 years you are a blessings.    

Verse #2

By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples.

John 15:8