Project 365, Week 42

Life starts all over again when it gets crisp in the fall. ~F. Scott Fitzgerald

October 15

No doubt, working on Algebra homework.

October 16

I had to run kids around so Amy grabbed Aiden and went to our dad's church, where they held an open mic night while my aunt and uncle were in town. It was fun to facetime and see videos of them in their element, strumming and singing together as they've done for decades.

October 17
Avery spent some time cleaning and organizing her brother's room and then we read some stories together. Hanging out like that is a favorite activity. Special thanks to Shaun who was off dealing with a child who had lost their mind.

October 18

My kitchen help, as we prepared to have the youth pastor and his wife for dinner. We talked and laughed until nearly midnight...it was delightful. We (she and I) scheduled the night two months ago, so I couldn't have known that a) the Red Sox would be playing a playoff game and b) the Broncos would be playing a Thursday night game. Not a word of complaint from Shaun...love that guy!

October 19
Bad news: taking the baby for the weekend means 3 hours of driving for me. Good news: much of it is very picturesque and a great accompaniment to the podcasts I'm listening to. :)

I caught J reading The Cat in the Hat to the baby. :)

Aiden loves Friday nights when his sisters go to youth group and he gets his parents to himself. This night the three of us played Star Wars Monopoly.

October 20
Strangely, I enjoy raking. Its good exercise, fresh air, time together, and immediate results. My kids are slightly less enthusiastic. ;)

We traveled an hour away for a state cup playoff game. Such a beautiful day for fall soccer! Also, Avery scored the go-ahead goal and played nearly the entire game. So proud!

Always a good day when Chick-fil-A is involved...and now we don't have to wait until we travel south!

Game #2 of the day. Thankfully, the baby seems to love soccer. ;)

October 21

Who are these stunning (old!!) girls?!? They were having fun planning their trunk for our church's trunk-or-treat night.

Shaun's been working diligently to get the chemical balance right for the hot tub. This night was completely delightful, even with the temp outside about 40 degrees. Time in the hot tub, plus a movie after, wasn't the vacation I feel like I need, but that down time definitely went far in renewing and refreshing me. Grateful.

In his own words, Aiden expressed that he loves time together, like when we're in the hot tub, when the conversation just flows steady and naturally from one thing to another. So sweet!!

Project 365, Week 41

Lots of fall this week and it was nice to have the kids home for a couple days. Talking, albeit delicately, amongst our household finally resumed, which was a relief. I look for blessings and try to see what God can teach me through the struggle. Hard times draw me closer to him and strip me of the delusion that I am self-sufficient and strong. When I made aware that I am weak, then I can use the endless resources that Jesus offers and I'm stronger than I ever could be on my own. Fully reliant is a very good place to be.

October 8

A favorite tradition of the year, meeting family at the orchard. It was cold and drizzly and the "pumpkin patch" was a little sketchy, but we still had a good time. It was sweet to see how the kids paired off.

October 9

The kids had the day off of school. We've gotten a free trial of the local newspaper and its been a hit. Funny that its now a rare sight to see someone reading a physical paper.

Avery also got invited to meet some classmates at the mall for some shopping. So big!

October 10

Since being sick, I've been especially enamored with "the circle of life" in nature. I just think its so beautiful.

October 11

Aiden wakes up just after the girls have left, so we get some quiet time with him before school.

October 12

Our foster son R's girlfriend had a baby in June. Since then, they've struggled. We've gone to see the baby a couple times and I talk to R on the phone several times a month. Earlier in this week I phoned in to a meeting with DCF regarding the fate of the baby. R is not allowed to see the baby right now, so the mom is trying to handle things by herself. Over the course of the 2-hour phone call, my empathy grew for her. And I wondered...

What if. What if someone came alongside her and helped her and supported her and cheered for her. What if that was enough to get her through this difficult time without losing her baby to the state. So I reached out to her and offered and she jumped on it, very gratefully. So, we got to enjoy the smiles of a 3-month old for the weekend so she could work and be social and just get a break.

This week we were in the midst of dealing with the tension in our home with our current placement, we were discouraged that we are involved with a second generation baby and disheartened from an update on H's situation. Shaun and I really started to ask why. WHY are we doing this? We are we investing so many resources, giving our best, and this is where we are. Why?

And then, a text from Z in response to the birthday gift I'd sent the week before. Oh yeah, THIS is why. Ok...totally worth it. :)

October 13

The girls' team is in the run for the state cup. We drove an hour for a 9 o'clock game in the cold rain, with a baby. Ah...the things we do for love!

Later, the skies cleared.

October 14

The sunrise was all kinds of spectacular and I knew God put it there, just for me....my soul was filled.

After Junior Bible Quiz we headed out to Aiden's soccer game and then the girls.

My aunt and uncle were in town for a few days visiting from Idaho. Even though it was short, it was SO good to see them.

October's 10 on 10

10 pictures on the 10th day of the month (Wednesday).

{Document a snapshot of your life; find beauty among the ordinary things in your day! }

The girls team does different spirit days on game days. Today was "crazy day". I love this picture because it is so them. Avery, who is not comfortable with crazy, but is compelled to follow the "rules", carefully planned out the crazy socks she would wear. Amanda, who is the essence of crazy, refused to participate, deeming it "dumb" (because its what was expected and what everyone else was doing). Parenting...not for wimps. :)

Most mornings we study Junior Bible Quiz questions at the bus stop as Aiden paces.

I conferenced in to a 2-hour meeting with about a dozen DCF people who are working to decide the fate of a family. God stirred my heart with deep empathy for both sides...such a tough position for all parties to be in. Also my ever-present practical side did a quick calculation of tax dollars spent to make that call happen...yikes!

I picked Aiden up early from school, which we were both delighted about.

We dropped J at her dentist appointment and then went to visit the Aldi I used to go to weekly. They recently completed a remodel and its so nice in there.

The girls had an away game in our old town. It was a Top Ten weather day, perfect for watching soccer.

We couldn't leave town without picking up $6 pizzas from Dominos, the kid-favorite around here.

What a blessing to have such a safe place to ride bikes.

Aiden taught me Queens and we've been playing a ton of it.

We started a new read aloud book, Way of the Warrior Kid, and when the Navy SEAL was talking about sit-ups per minute, Aiden had to drop down to see if he could even do one. :)

Project 365, Week 40

Last week's hard carried over into the entire duration of this week. Phone calls, meetings with social workers, prayers, silence...I was in an emotional fetal position from the hurt and the tension. I'm terrible at pretending every thing is ok when its not, at acting like I have it all together when I don't....not sure if that means I'm an authentic person or a basket case!

There are so few details I can share because I want to protect people's privacy, but I guess hard is hard and messy and broken have a million and one flavors, depending on the faces and places.

Shannan Martin, an adoptive mom, posted these words that felt like us...I can't capture the pain that ricochets around our house sometimes. We work hard and we never give up, but sometimes we touch the edge of despair. We feel hopeless. We pray desperate prayers. Some of us go to therapy and some of us take meds and we keep trying. We never give up. There are good days and great ones. A lot of them are good enough, and some of them are incomprehensibly hard.... 

And another favorite author, Bob Goff: Love more, not less. Will you take a hit? Of course you will. Do it anyway.

October 1

The tension in our home was high so on my way home from picking up the girls from soccer Shaun texted and suggested I take the kids out and do something fun. The four of us went to 99 Restaurant and took advantage of the Red Sox win the night before. We connected with the waitress and left her a big tip and it felt good to get outside ourselves.

October 2

The visiting nurse who came to my house every other day for months and months post-surgery is now  a good friend. She asked if I would be a guest speaker at a monthly support group she runs. I'm always happy to tell my story...I like when my story can offer hope and encouragement to someone and I love the exercise of recounting God's faithfulness. Also, Community, I always brag on you big. :)

October 3

To the disappointment of our closest neighbors, yard work is not #1 on our priority list. We do make a solid effort to keep our dandelions and crab grass mowed though. :)

October 4

We'd had this dinner planned before all the trouble started and I considered canceling because we felt so drained, but this couple, who are long-time friends are also foster parents to teens. It was a gift to sit out on our porch on a warm evening and talk until the candles burned low.

October 5

While the girls were at youth group, Aiden and I went to get some cousin/sister/therapy time.

October 6

Annual Columbus Day tournament. Both teams had games beginning at 7:45AM...don't be jealous. :)

So fun to see both girls on the field together.

Teammates, friends, sisters, former classmates. Its great when these girls can get time together. After church we went to get tacos, I had promised Avery a late celebration of National Taco Day which was on the 4th (fyi for next year ;).

October 7

7:45AM, back at it.

The girls team beat their opponents 17-0 over four games during the tournament...impressive!

But you're gonna miss this, you're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days, hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times, so take a good look around
You may not know it now, but you're gonna miss this