Project 365, Week 40

Last week's hard carried over into the entire duration of this week. Phone calls, meetings with social workers, prayers, silence...I was in an emotional fetal position from the hurt and the tension. I'm terrible at pretending every thing is ok when its not, at acting like I have it all together when I don't....not sure if that means I'm an authentic person or a basket case!

There are so few details I can share because I want to protect people's privacy, but I guess hard is hard and messy and broken have a million and one flavors, depending on the faces and places.

Shannan Martin, an adoptive mom, posted these words that felt like us...I can't capture the pain that ricochets around our house sometimes. We work hard and we never give up, but sometimes we touch the edge of despair. We feel hopeless. We pray desperate prayers. Some of us go to therapy and some of us take meds and we keep trying. We never give up. There are good days and great ones. A lot of them are good enough, and some of them are incomprehensibly hard.... 

And another favorite author, Bob Goff: Love more, not less. Will you take a hit? Of course you will. Do it anyway.

October 1

The tension in our home was high so on my way home from picking up the girls from soccer Shaun texted and suggested I take the kids out and do something fun. The four of us went to 99 Restaurant and took advantage of the Red Sox win the night before. We connected with the waitress and left her a big tip and it felt good to get outside ourselves.

October 2

The visiting nurse who came to my house every other day for months and months post-surgery is now  a good friend. She asked if I would be a guest speaker at a monthly support group she runs. I'm always happy to tell my story...I like when my story can offer hope and encouragement to someone and I love the exercise of recounting God's faithfulness. Also, Community, I always brag on you big. :)

October 3

To the disappointment of our closest neighbors, yard work is not #1 on our priority list. We do make a solid effort to keep our dandelions and crab grass mowed though. :)

October 4

We'd had this dinner planned before all the trouble started and I considered canceling because we felt so drained, but this couple, who are long-time friends are also foster parents to teens. It was a gift to sit out on our porch on a warm evening and talk until the candles burned low.

October 5

While the girls were at youth group, Aiden and I went to get some cousin/sister/therapy time.

October 6

Annual Columbus Day tournament. Both teams had games beginning at 7:45AM...don't be jealous. :)

So fun to see both girls on the field together.

Teammates, friends, sisters, former classmates. Its great when these girls can get time together. After church we went to get tacos, I had promised Avery a late celebration of National Taco Day which was on the 4th (fyi for next year ;).

October 7

7:45AM, back at it.

The girls team beat their opponents 17-0 over four games during the tournament...impressive!

But you're gonna miss this, you're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days, hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times, so take a good look around
You may not know it now, but you're gonna miss this