Project 365, Week 39

More tests, more waiting, more pain, more wondering....if it is cancer, could we possibly do all this again?

September 23

When your teen has a half day and invites you to lunch, you don't turn it down, no matter how you're feeling. It was such a beautiful day for outdoor seating.

Aiden was the most happy to hang out with me while I laid low. He's content to read or talk or do screens for long periods of time.

September 24
Happy 18th birthday!

September 25

Chillin' out on the patio on a gorgeous afternoon, keeping his mom company. :)

September 26
We headed to the city early for an MRI, a CT Scan and a meeting with the oncologist. It was impossible to believe we were back in this scene again, but also it felt strangely natural.

This blog is proof that I'm not a particularly private person. However, we chose to keep this news quiet until we had something to tell people, so as not to unduly alarm others without having answers to the inevitable questions, but a few knew.

You hear people say, "God spoke to me" and it can sound mysterious or mystical or exclusive. But sometimes its as simple as a name dropping into your heart that didn't come from you thinking of it on your own. My friend listened to that "heart impression" and twice she texted to check up on me while I was in a hospital gown waiting for a test to be done. God is everywhere, in all things...we just have to be on the lookout.

After a long, stressful day in the city we stopped to eat for the first time that day. We tentatively celebrated because the oncologist was comfortable with what she'd been able to see from the radiology reports. I gratefully took in the bigness and grandeur of creation. This is all by grand design and so much bigger than me and there's so much comfort in that.

September 27
Sitting out on a lovely September afternoon watching soccer is so great.

Sometimes it works out that its just me, Shaun and Aiden together on a Friday night while the girls are youth group. We often take advantage of tour trio and grab dinner. Shaun and Aiden share a brain and its fascinating to hear them talk about life. Since there is pen and paper here, its possible they were working out a math problem.
*Updated: Aiden came up behind me while I was working on this post and I asked him if he remembered what they were talking about. Yeah, we were talking about the Great Barrier Reef and how climate change pollution are affecting the coral reef and what scientists are doing about it. So there you have it...our Friday nights. :)

September 28
Baseball is tedious to watch but on a beautiful fall morning, armed with a couple podcasts, its rather enjoyable.

Amanda joined me on the porch. She asked what I was reading, so I showed her the cover The Meaning of Marriage. Without skipping a beat and as serious as can be, she gave a knowing nod and said, "Ah, so you're getting ready for tax season."

Haha! Oh Girl! Well yes. Love is not always a feeling, its a choice, an action. This book has so much truth in it! (And I will neither confirm nor deny that I am preparing my heart for tax season. ;)

“In sharp contrast with our culture, the Bible teaches that the essence of marriage is a sacrificial commitment to the good of the other. That means that love is more fundamentally action than emotion. But in talking this way, there is a danger of falling into the opposite error that characterized many ancient and traditional societies. It is possible to see marriage as merely a social transaction, a way of doing your duty to family, tribe and society. Traditional societies made the family the ultimate value in life, and so marriage was a mere transaction that helped your family's interest. By contrast, contemporary Western societies make the individual's happiness the ultimate value, and so marriage becomes primarily an experience of romantic fulfillment. But the Bible sees GOD as the supreme good - not the individual or the family - and that gives us a view of marriage that intimately unites feelings AND duty, passion AND promise. That is because at the heart of the Biblical idea of marriage is the covenant.”

Soccer!

Amanda had two friends from school sleep over. They ate pizza and candy and talked a lot. :)

September 29
Sunday afternoon soccer. Our September weather was remarkable!