Numbering Days, Week 25-29

Ok. Well...it certainly was not my intention to go without posting for so long! I'm sorry to those of you who count on this as a way to stay up-to-date with what's going on. 

I spend plenty of time during the month on a couch/bed/chair which seems like it would be ideal for catching up on some writing but the truth is, on my bad days, I'm not capable of much. Looking at a screen, joining two thoughts together...its often too much. Then, on my good days, I'm anxious to get back at it, feeling like I'm behind because I was down for several days and need to catch up, while also preparing for the next treatment lurking up ahead. The cycle is difficult and exhausting and feels never-ending. But also, its something I get to do and I fight to be grateful for that.

In the last month I have had significant healing from my back surgery. The issues from the three fractures have been considerably alleviated...what a relief! 

Two days shy of the one-month mark, Shaun and I went to the city for a follow-up with the surgeon. He didn't use the word "experimental", but for sure gave us the impression that its a very, very rare surgery so he was very pleased to hear how much it helped. My stitches and staples were removed which meant I could shower for the first time in a month. Except after we met with the surgeon we switched buildings and I did treatment, so I had to wait another two days for the chemo pump to come off before showering. But then...finally! :) 

I am learning deeper truths about an ever-present God who is with me at the edge of despair, causes me to delight in the rising of the sun, who determines the miracle of another breath, another day. I am more aware of His beauty and goodness and God-ness. The more I need Him, the more I experience His sufficient grace. 

The surgeon cleared me to do light exercise. I've worked out consistently since I was 13 and over the years have made various goals to work towards. Current goal: prevent atrophy. 😜
 

I so enjoy being at the office. Beautiful light streams in, Shaun is just down the hall...with all the work and care we put into that building, it feels like a second home.

My friend, who battled breast cancer for several years gave this hat to me with the word "tough" inscribed inside. I wear it every day on our walks and think of her 

I spotted this sign at MSK's satellite campus. Its sounds like an exaggeration, but on some days, energy management is a real thing. I flashed back to my running days. Long ago I worked through the bitterness and yearning, now I'm grateful that I had those experiences while I could. With so much fondness, I remember my very first marathon, on Mother's Day and the sweetest bare-footed superman crossed the finish line with me.