Numbering Days, Week 30-33

March is Colorectal Cancer Awareness month. I hate being "in the club", but since I am, I feel like I should take time this month to encourage you to do the cancer screenings that are available. 

• Among cancers, Colorectal cancer ranks number two in cancer deaths.  
• Detecting it early often makes it quite treatable. 
• Twenty millions Americans are eligible to get screened and have not. 

If you are 45 or older, you should start screenings. Colonoscopies are a hassle and will consume the better part of two days. You will survive and then you'll be done with it for many years. Please make an appointment. Do it for the people who love you.

I've had two treatments since my last post and they've been similar. I work in the morning on Wednesday, then Shaun takes me to treatment. With travel, its about 7-8 hours. I endure the hours until Shaun disconnects the chemo pump on Friday about noon and then I can shower and start the journey to feeling better. Sunday starts out slow but throughout the day I start feeling better by the hour. On Monday, I'm feeling good and so grateful to be alive and among the living. By Tuesday most of the chemo symptoms are gone, some things as basic as my sense of taste returning to normal.

After that I dive into life the life of a working mom with three teenagers, with all the good and hard that comes with living.

For the most part, I consider it a great blessing to live with the knowledge that I'm terminal. As Tim McGraw sings....

Someday I hope you get the chance
To live like you were dying
Like tomorrow was a gift
And you've got eternity
To think about
What you'd do with it
What could you do with it
What did I do with it?

What would I do with it?

I get to live everyday with the knowledge that this life is precious and short and a gift and that eternity is close. I get to live terminal. 

And even though I'm at peace and I'm grateful for each day, I still get regular gut-punches about leaving. Like the other day when Amanda and I were at the bridal shop looking at prom dresses. In searching out the restroom, I happened upon a mom and daughter who were clearly shopping for a mother-of-the-bride dress. It was obvious they were enjoying the experience and, out of nowhere and just for a moment, a sob threatened. I desperately hope to have that experience with my own daughters, but I may not...I am terminal.

You are also terminal. Consider today that you have the chance to live like you were dying, to see tomorrow as a gift and to think about eternity. 

Before the mountains were born, before you gave birth to the 

earth and the world, from beginning to end, you are God.

You turn people back to dust, saying, “Return to dust, you mortals!”

For you, a thousand years are as a passing day, as brief as a few night hours.

You sweep people away like dreams that disappear.

They are like grass that springs up in the morning. In the morning 

it blooms and flourishes, but by evening it is dry and withered.

Seventy years are given to us! Some even live to eighty. But even the best 

years are filled with pain and trouble; soon they disappear, and we fly away.

Teach us to realize the brevity of life, to number our days, so that we may 

grow in wisdom.