Project 365, Week 5

January 30

This evening was set aside as my birthday celebration.  The kids bickered and picked at each other much of the time, making it unenjoyable. They also presented me with lovely, heart-felt cards. Family life can be messy as character is built and hearts are shaped (maybe most especially mine).

There is no picture from the night, only the screenshot of the Cheese Fondue recipe I used as our first course. Yum! 

January 31

Not an ordinary day...these two working on homework side-by-side.

February 1

Valentine's month. :)

February 2

This office plant is a big hit with clients.

February 3

In this season, the sun is coming up right as Aiden and I are walking the dog. I cherish this time with him.

February 4

Back-to-back soccer games.

Just as we were walking out the door, Aiden got a large splinter in his foot. He tried for a bit to take it out and finally conceded that his dad would be best for this situation. So we stopped at the office to visit the guy who can fix anything.

February 5

Since I was staying for both services, I took a separate car which meant I got there early enough to pause for a quick prayer and get seated before the service began. I'm so grateful for this place...for the Truth that is taught, for the ways they are willing to change and grow, for the opportunities to serve, for the church family we have.

After rolling around many dates and times, Amy was able to coordinate a time when most of her family and mine were able to go to Outback for our two families January birthdays, as we've done many times over the years. It was worth the work! Though everyone can do the restroom by themselves and no one got taken to the car for a spanking, these giant people are much more expensive to feed. ;)

 Birthday buddies! 💙

Numbering Days, Week 25-29

Ok. Well...it certainly was not my intention to go without posting for so long! I'm sorry to those of you who count on this as a way to stay up-to-date with what's going on. 

I spend plenty of time during the month on a couch/bed/chair which seems like it would be ideal for catching up on some writing but the truth is, on my bad days, I'm not capable of much. Looking at a screen, joining two thoughts together...its often too much. Then, on my good days, I'm anxious to get back at it, feeling like I'm behind because I was down for several days and need to catch up, while also preparing for the next treatment lurking up ahead. The cycle is difficult and exhausting and feels never-ending. But also, its something I get to do and I fight to be grateful for that.

In the last month I have had significant healing from my back surgery. The issues from the three fractures have been considerably alleviated...what a relief! 

Two days shy of the one-month mark, Shaun and I went to the city for a follow-up with the surgeon. He didn't use the word "experimental", but for sure gave us the impression that its a very, very rare surgery so he was very pleased to hear how much it helped. My stitches and staples were removed which meant I could shower for the first time in a month. Except after we met with the surgeon we switched buildings and I did treatment, so I had to wait another two days for the chemo pump to come off before showering. But then...finally! :) 

I am learning deeper truths about an ever-present God who is with me at the edge of despair, causes me to delight in the rising of the sun, who determines the miracle of another breath, another day. I am more aware of His beauty and goodness and God-ness. The more I need Him, the more I experience His sufficient grace. 

The surgeon cleared me to do light exercise. I've worked out consistently since I was 13 and over the years have made various goals to work towards. Current goal: prevent atrophy. 😜
 

I so enjoy being at the office. Beautiful light streams in, Shaun is just down the hall...with all the work and care we put into that building, it feels like a second home.

My friend, who battled breast cancer for several years gave this hat to me with the word "tough" inscribed inside. I wear it every day on our walks and think of her 

I spotted this sign at MSK's satellite campus. Its sounds like an exaggeration, but on some days, energy management is a real thing. I flashed back to my running days. Long ago I worked through the bitterness and yearning, now I'm grateful that I had those experiences while I could. With so much fondness, I remember my very first marathon, on Mother's Day and the sweetest bare-footed superman crossed the finish line with me. 

Project 365, Week 4

Lots of recovery this week.

January 23

We spent the day in the city with several appointments between two different buildings. As I took the 15-minute ride on a nearly empty shuttle, I couldn't help but overhear the conversation the doctor next to me was having, since he was on speaker phone. I tried tuning it out, but I kept hearing key words...tumor, sacrum, scans. They kept changing patients who they were discussing and at some point I heard my oncologist's voice. 

Suddenly it dawned on me that, since it was Monday, it was likely the weekly Tumor Board meeting. I had no way of knowing if they'd be talking about me, but just in case, I double-downed my efforts to block out the conversation, very much not wanting to hear the insider's scoop on my case. It was beyond strange to be in the "board room". And honestly, it looked different in my head.

January 24

The snow that had been so awful for Shaun to drive in the day before coming back from the city was so beautiful the next day with the sun shining.

January 25

I spent a little time setting up systems so I have the option to work from home. Ginger is a loyal companion.

January 26

No picture

January 27

I was still feeling awful, but I considered this view a win, since I was laying on the couch. I hadn't done that in months because it was so difficult to get to a standing position from there. Progress! 

Never has my tree still been up past New Year's Day, but this year I was advised to keep it up for the twinkling lights. I'm so glad we did since I have spent so much time in this room.

January 28

Mercifully, I felt like a new person this day. I got to watch my boy do his thing.

January 29

We watched the football playoffs and then we all went to the rink just 10 minutes from our house and watched Nathanael play hockey (and score two goals!). It was so much fun!

 

Project 365, Week 3

January 16

The kids were on Day 3 of camp. These kids!

January 17

A trick I learned years ago is to time how long it takes you to do tasks you don't enjoy. How long, really, does it take to complete a load of laundry? How many minutes, exactly, does it take to unload the dishwasher? Quite possibly much less time than we spend procrastinating or whining about it. For instance, it took this child 2:57 to vacuum the downstairs...far less time than the lead up took.

January 18

The first fingers of light appear on the horizon, and ever so deftly and gradually, they pull the mantle of darkness away from the world. ~John O'Donohue

January 19

The week before Christmas my car broke down enough to get towed. The mechanic had it for several weeks but thankfully the timing lined up with my surgery, which left me restricted from driving. It was sooo great to pick it up and have my own wheels again!

For weeks, Ginger had mothered this stuffed banana.

January 20

We've started to make a phone stack during TBQ practice. When I finally collected my phone, there was a happy surprise. :)

January 21

I was feeling pretty happy to be able to take Aiden to his game and watch him play.

In the afternoon I attended the funeral of a childhood friend. I was a teen and his family moved to the area and began attending the church my dad was pastoring, we also went to the same highschool. We did a ton of life with their family and they've always been very special. Just before Christmas, Jason had a heart attack. 

It was a beautiful service and utterly brutal to watch his family processing it all. I was proud when my dad got up to speak. He's done many hundreds of funerals and so meaningful because he takes the time to really get to know people and be involved in their lives. He loves genuinely and practically.

January 22

Since the girls were very little, I've sent out Valentine's cards to our family. These three teens were such good sports about changing clothes and braving the cold for their mom to take some pictures. Very sweet of them!