The Excellent Wife, Chapter 21

The Wife's Sorrow...Overcoming a Grieving Heart

Husbands (and wives) are capable of very hurtful sin, causing much grief to the spouse's heart. This chapter pointed out that there are really two different kids of sorrow, godly sorrow and sinful sorrow.

Sinful sorrow fills your heart with sorrow and causes you to be overcome by this emotion. It causes you to be overwhelmed and unable to function.

"Godly sorrow is manageable. It does not overwhelm you. It co-exists within your heart along with the peace of God, the joy of God, and love for God and others."

"The key to overcoming excessive and sinfully overwhelming sorrow is to repent of any specific sinful motives, thoughts or actions and to concentrate on showing love to God and others. In the process, the person's capacity to love grows and their sorrow shrinks back down to a level that is manageable."

"If you are in an especially difficult situation, you must seek your comfort and hope from God. He is to be your refuge and your strength. Let Him talk to you through His word."

The author also points out that developing a grateful heart and attitude will help you feel hope and will keep your sorrow at a manageable level.

Like most of the chapters we've gone through, the steps for overcoming sorrow go against our natural feelings. This is an area that we must deliberately deal with and trust that God is going to see us through.

Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden , and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you, and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart; and you shall find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy, and My load is light. Matthew 11: 28-30

There is comfort and and refuge in our mighty God.
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Well, we've reached the end of The Excellent Wife book. I have really enjoyed being a part of an online study group...it provides accountability and insight while being flexible. I want to thank Leslie for the tremendous job she did putting this together and for all those who stuck it out these 21 weeks. I've learned so much from reading this book the participating blog posts.

So, who is the excellent wife?

"She loves God with all her heart. She takes the Word of God seriously. She is not ignorant of her biblical responsibilities. She loves, respects, and submits to her husband as God desires. She is growing and learning personally, and she is teaching other women. She loves the role God has given her. She the glory of her husband. She truly glorifies God."

Summer Fun Photo Contest

My sister told me about the Summer Fun Photo Contest being held at 5 Minutes For Mom.

The Excellent Wife, Chapter 20

The Wife's Loneliness...Overcoming a Lack of Oneness

The first thing I thought of when reading this chapter was one of the 'likes and dislikes' I listed in my high school yearbook. Likes: being alone, Dislikes: being lonely. Still rings true to me today, many years later. I cherish and crave alone time. In fact, to a fault, I think, I seek it out.

But being lonely? Oh, what an awful feeling, especially when I am with another person or a crowd. If I am with another, especially my husband, I expect to talk and connect and relate. When this doesn't happen, for whatever reason, feelings of loneliness can creep in.

That is when it is good for me to keep in perspective my place in this world and in God's kingdom. What am I ultimately looking for when I feel lonely?

"Nothing that you could possibly desire would be better than a closeness to God...Not even a husband who openly and freely shares himself with you. When you experience loneliness, let your emotions be a signal that you need God. Draw close to God in grateful submission to Him."

When I can turn my thoughts towards God and what He would desire instead of worrying about me and my needs, then the self-pity that often accompanies loneliness does not have a place. My selfish heart always wants to ensure my own comfort, but I am here to serve God, not God serving me.

"Work hard at knowing Christ in a more intimate way and at putting on gratitude and contentment. Thank God often for your circumstances and what God wants to teach you and how God wants to use you for His glory."

Wedding Bells!

(Just a warning, this post contains lots of pictures!) Shaun's sister Sarah got married this past weekend, 08-08-08. We had a fantabulous, full day! All the girls left my house at 7:00am and were done decorating the church by 9:00. From there we went to the salon for manicures/pedicures and then we went to the Inn where the reception was to be held.

Lunch was brought to our suite and the hair stylist and make-up person came to the room. We hung out in our robes for a good part of the day being girly. Sarah was relaxed and seemed to enjoy every moment.
My sister Bethany was the hair magician...everyone was incredibly impressed. She even unexpectedly "whipped up" Avery's hair at the last minute.
Avery really likes the Shirley Temple movies, so she was quite pleased with her head of curls.

And this was the back of my hair, pre diamond hair clips.
Our ride over to the church in the limo, this picture was taken just before the hail started. Yes...hail. And lots of water!I think this picture captures the essence of the evening. Sarah was so relaxed and happy. I've never seen her happier and it was such joy to my heart to sit back and watch her in the moment. I breathed a prayer that these memories would be burned into her mind to carry her through the inevitable times to come when things are not so happy.
An attempt at our family portrait. Amanda was not interested in what we were trying to do.

This picture made me tear up the first time I saw it. The sweet innocence of a little three-year old who adores her daddy and this man who carries her in his strong arms, eyes full of love for his precious daughter. Sweetness. And SO handsome!

My man. Even did the goatee especially for me.

Amanda really struggles when Avery is participating in something that she is too little for. You see, Amanda doesn't think she's too little for anything. She doesn't do sitting-on-the-sidelines too well so she grabbed her opportunity when she saw Auntie's train unattended.

Jared got a family this day, something he's been wanting for a long time. They carved out a portion of the actual ceremony for him with Tony repeating vows to Jared...very touching.

Tony and Sarah out for the first dance...everything is right with their world.

We had such a fun day. Avery did a fantastic job being flower girl...Shaun's coaching and coaxing paid off. All the family was together and that's always a good thing, plus we gained a new member who we love and who has fit in from the start. Tony's a great guy and treats Sarah well.

I was honored to stand with Sarah and witness their union. I pray blessings on their new life together.

Too cute!

While I was cooking dinner the other night, I heard excessive giggling. When I peeked around the corner, this is what I saw:

This is one way Amanda stays busy in her room after she's woken up from her nap (her ankle matches).
I do believe this is what pure joy looks likes. Avery loves life!

Faithfulness By Night

It is a good and delightful thing to give thanks to the Lord, to sing praises to Your name, O Most High, To show forth Your loving-kindness in the morning and Your faithfulness by night. Psalm 92:1,2(beautiful scenes can be found out on the golf course :)

The Excellent Wife, Chapter 19

The Wife's Fear...Overcoming Anxiety

Biblical Principles Concerning Fear

• Fear may keep us from fulfilling our God-given responsibilities
• Fear may motivate a person to commit other sins "Fear operates like a flood gate opening and letting all the other sins loose."
• Fear may motivate a person to deny the Lord Jesus and His word "remind yourself that God was and still is sovereign over every circumstance"
• Fear may be of other men "fear is a fact of life in a fallen world. How we respond to our fears depends on our relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ"

Solutions to Fear

1. Do not be a man pleaser "Instead of seeking man's approval, seek God's by having strong, clear biblical convictions and living them out"
2. Remind yourself of God's Word Those who love Thy law have great peace, and nothing causes them to stumble, Psalms 119:165
3. Make wise decisions "Wisdom is the ability to related truth (God's word) to life situations"
4. Realize the power of God working within you "You become fearful because of what you think about particular circumstances, not because of the circumstances themselves. As a result, your focus becomes more and more inward. You become more and more frightened. Typically you think, 'What's going to happen to me?' An inward focus is a selfish focus and the fear that results from selfish thinking is not from God. It is a consequence of your own sin"
5. Fear the Lord and delight in His commands "How foolish when we fear sickness or death, but do not fear God or His commandments"
6. Realize God is ever-present with you "Remind yourself and trust that God is always with you"
7. Trust God to keep His word Heaven and earth will pass away, but My Words shall not pass away, Matthew 24:35
8. Seek after the Lord when you are afraid I sought the Lord, and He answered me, and delivered me from all my fears, Psalm 34:4
9. Overcome your fear with love "Love looks for opportunities to give. Fear keeps an eye on the consequences to self. Love 'thinks no evil'. Fear thinks of little else. Love 'believes all things' while fear is highly suspicious"

I was thanking the Lord this week that I've never really had to struggle too much with this issue of fear, although I know many do. Growing up, there was not an atmosphere of fear. My parents trusted the Word of God and lived by it and were fairly laid-back in regards to the typical fear hot points.

As I got older, I discovered for myself that I serve a big God who doesn't need my help and input. He's proven over and over that He takes better care of me than I can take care of myself by worrying, wondering and being fearful and I rest in that.

I pray that you will find the peace in your heart that my loving Savior wants so much for you to have. Prayerfully take these steps to heart and ask God to help you. His grace is sufficient.