Friday, July 25, 2008

The Excellent Wife, Ch 18

The Wife's Anger...Overcoming Impatience

True confessions...

Normally each week I read the chapter on Monday and then again on Friday. This week I didn't read it until Tuesday and it was one day too late. You see, Monday evening I got frustrated and vented that to Shaun. While I was talking to him, I briefly thought you should stop and think about this first. Give it a little time to ponder and then bring it up if you still think its worth it. But alas, I plunged ahead and said what I needed to say.

We don't ever yell at each other, but I sure know how to make biting remarks that I regret later and I'm also pretty proficient at pouting.

"Anger and resentment are two powerful emotions you are likely to feel when you are frustrated or irritated. Getting it off your chest does not help the frustration, it only compounds the sin and guilt."

Oh, so true.

"Become keenly aware that each and every time you have an outburst of anger, your sinful flesh sets itself in direct opposition to the Holy Spirit."

I cannot afford to live my life in opposition to the Holy Spirit.

"The contrast between one who stirs up anger and one who subdues anger is abundantly clear. One is a fool. The other is wise. One is harsh. The other is gentle. One produces strife. The other pacifies contention. One will spout folly. The other ponders carefully before he answers."

Does anything more need to be said?

Biblical Steps to Change Character from Anger to Gentleness

  1. Teaching--choose several scriptures relevant to you, meditate on them and memorize them. Know them well

  2. Reproof--ask others to hold you accountable to let you know when you seem to be angry

  3. Correction--later, think what you should have said. How should your countenance and tone of voice been. Confess each specific angry incident to God and to others if you have offended someone. Do it every time

  4. Training in Righteousness--think and act accordingly to the Word of God repeatedly until the gentle and loving responses are your first thoughts instead of afterthoughts. Ask God to change your heart and character. "Humble yourself, cry out to God in prayer for help, roll up your sleeves, and get to work."

I really liked these steps. They seem to be practical and doable...doable being the operative word! You have to think right thoughts. "Right thoughts are compassionate, kind, humble, gentle, patient, forbearing, forgiving and loving" Colossians 3:12-14

There's my favorite subject again...thoughts! What things am I dwelling on? I want to get to the point where I don't even have room for angry or hurtful thoughts because they are drowned out with God's Word.

God really used my little outburst on Monday night to make this chapter very real and timely for me. So many of the other concepts we've been studying were coming to my remembrance this week: respect, putting on love, going the second mile, love is not a feeling its a choice, selfishness, instead of wounding your husband, use your tongue to bring healing, a Christian wife's goal is to glorify God, etc, etc....My prayer is that I will truly take these things to heart and be an excellent wife.


Jackie @ Our Moments Our Memories said...

I love how open and willing to change you are such an inspiration to me. I think these principles are excellent when applied to marriage, but also when applied to relationships with the children, friends, just everyday life.

Lisa said...

I agree that many of these principles are great for relationships in general.

Humans dealing with humans...always eventful! :)

StaceyStace said...

I first began to learn to temper my tongue out of a sheer hatred of having to say I'm sorry! The motive wasn't too pure but God did use it to move me in the right direction. =)
However, this is a lifelong battle and I can totally relate with you when you say that you even knew you should not say those words, but you did it anyway. I've done it so many times.

Thanks for stopping by my blog!

Much Ado said...

Great post Lisa! This was such a challenging chapter and I am praying that God will continually bring it mind and the Scriptures with it when I head in the direction of "anger".

I appreciated your honesty which I can only too well relate to.

Rebekah said...

I was challenged by this chapter, too. And I also appreciate how very practical her advice is in the four steps to change character.

Thanks for sharing what you did.