Jesus Commands My Destiny

You can't imagine how bizarre it is to be writing about an experience with cancer so intimately.  I wouldn't say I didn't think it could ever happen to me but I did think I had better than average odds of skipping it because of how well I've always taken care of myself throughout my life.

But sometimes our plan isn't THE plan.

From the very beginning, I've had such a matter-of-fact peace about this whole thing.  Because I truly believe that God does have a plan.  This is His Plan A for my life.  And though I don't like it and I don't understand it, I still trust Him completely.

I have an assurance that He is the same good God who I've trusted and followed after my entire life.  The One who has been faithful...always faithful.

The hardest thing so far has been having to tell the kids and those I love.  Its been harder on people than I could have ever anticipated...or maybe better put, the love that people have for me is greater than I ever comprehended.  But now I realize...and wow.  The outpouring of support has been overwhelming and so humbling.  And I feel so undeserving of such intense love and care.

We have an army of people praying on our behalf and I really think that is taking much of the burden off of me.

A friend reminded me of the story of Lazarus, Mary and Martha.  "Jesus knew something they didn't know.  They were living in the obvious present reality, but Jesus had another plan and changed their reality."

In Christ alone my hope is found,
He is my light, my strength, my song;
this Cornerstone, this solid Ground,
firm through the fiercest drought and storm.
What heights of love, what depths of peace,
when fears are stilled, when strivings cease!
My Comforter, my All in All,
here in the love of Christ I stand.

No guilt in life, no fear in death,
This is the power of Christ in me;
From life's first cry to final breath.
Jesus commands my destiny.
No power of hell, no scheme of man,
Can ever pluck me from His hand;
Till He returns or calls me home,
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand.