"I can see the strength in you even when you can't". Timely words from a friend who couldn't know how tired and done I am.
It feels like my world has shrunk so small and that I'm not defined by much but my suffering. I get so sick of my own story, this story that leaves me feeling weak and out of control and needy. My body is tattered and beaten; I wonder if there will actually ever be an end to all this and I long for our old "normal", some of which can never even exist again.
My thoughts on suffering have evolved over a time. I've gone from what?!? I'm suffering? How can this be?? to Of course I'm suffering! All of creation has been groaning. Its not just part of my story, its part of the fallen world.
We all have broken things in our lives. That thing that we want God to fix. A sick body, a broken marriage, financial devastation, the wandering child, hurt from past abuse. Or that thing that hasn't happened. A promise unfulfilled, a better job, conception, reconciliation. Maybe its in his plan to fix it, or maybe on this earth it won't happen.
Even when he doesn't do what we want him to do, when he doesn't choose one of the (really good!) options we've presented to him, he is still good and we can still trust him.
We have an amazing children's Bible, the Jesus Bible Storybook. I love it because, starting from the beginning, each story ends with a reminder of the Savior and His redemption plan. Throughout the Old Testament stories, it tells of a Rescuer, Jesus, who would come to redeem us and save us from what we deserve because of his Never Stopping, Never Giving Up, Unbreaking, Always and Forever Love. Because of that great love, we have hope in Jesus.
Whatever hard you find yourself in today, this year, this season, would you join me in renewing your hope in a God who knows the beginning from the end and loves us. Don't lose heart, don't give up!
A list of things that I love about you that have nothing to do with your cancer story:
ReplyDelete-your hospitality! You're an incredibly generous, warm, fun, loving host and your home is a refuge
-your humor! I love telling stories and cracking up with you
-your gratitude - you've always inspired me in this
-your parenting - your kids are so lucky to have you as their mom
-your wisdom - you've always been wise and insightful
-your beauty - you are an incredibly beautiful person, inside and out
I love what Melody did here and am going to keep the list going...
ReplyDelete-your grace- you always take time for people, opening your house (one of my favorite spots!) no matter what's going on in your life
-your perspective- the obvious is how you have faced the last year. But unrelated to the past year, the way you cut right to the heart of the matter is so helpful and inspiring
-your heart- you love big and deep and wide
-your thoughtfulness- in so many areas but selfishly, one of my favorites is the way you send cards- I have several from you that I've saved because your words are always so timely and speak such truth!
-your faithfulness- I cannot recollect a second of your life that you were not pressed into Christ.
ReplyDelete-your perfect imperfection- never worried about what others will think of you (i.e. how the kids dressed for church, the dead plant from last season still on the stoop, etc)
-your card writing / sending abilities- always timely and encouraging
-your pictures!!!- what treasures you have created for countless people
-your simplicity- one pair of flip flops is sufficient
-your diligence and perseverance in your workouts- #twomarathons
ReplyDelete-your selflessness- specifically the way you have sacrificed for the kids who have come in and out of your home
-your friendship- where would I be without my bestie??????
-your ability to let the little things be the little things ("I can't care about everything!") :)
ReplyDelete-your love of caffeine
-your book recommendations
-your ability to trust Him with the BIG and the little
-your fearlessness
I love what everyone has done here and have so enjoyed reading each thing. Having only known you through the internet (and our one awesome visit in person), I don't know many of these things about you personally, but I don't doubt one of them!!!
ReplyDeleteLisa is an encourager and incredible,selfless encourager full of wisdom doled out with love and grace - can't be more proud to be able to call her friend
ReplyDeleteP.S. - Love the updated pics of the kids!
ReplyDeleteI love those lists up there!
ReplyDeleteI love that you love sunrises - the spectacular ones and the plain ones...UL
ReplyDelete