Doing Battle, Week 61

Today I am at home instead of in New York City getting my final treatment. I am weary and frustrated, working on just letting it go and taking great comfort in the fact that God knew about today before I ever got here. The control is not mine and I am embracing that fact....SO thankful this, all of this, is not up to me!

Why the delay? Well, it goes back to Saturday morning when I woke up at 3 AM with a fever. It climbed all morning until I took Tylenol when it reached 102.5. There was really no discussion, no decision to be made, it had to be a trip to the hospital. I just said, I don't want to do this and Shaun said, I know...it'll be ok.

So we woke up sleepy kids who'd been at the show the night before and dropped them at my sister's, where our extended family was to be gathering for an early Thanksgiving celebration. We drove on to  New York City and checked into Urgent Care where they immediately started a battery of tests, including but not limited to blood work, chest x-ray and CT scan. Slowly results came in, all negatives for any type of infection.

Many of the tests take several days to come back so they wanted to keep me for observation. I got settled into a room and eventually Shaun left to get the kids and prepare for the last show the following day. I was resigned to it but it was still hard to be in the hospital...again!

Though it was the weekend, I was able to see the fellow who assisted with my surgery and who checked in on me everyday of my recovery in the hospital back in July. My Infectious Disease doctor (you're jealous that I have one and you don't, aren't you? :) also happened to be on-call that weekend so I saw her twice. Truly God's favor to have both of them involved and to see familiar faces!

On Sunday I woke up feeling good and, after a process, I was released and my sister-in-law braved NYC traffic to pick me up. I had her drop me off at church, unshowered and in yesterday's clothes that I slept in, so I could sneak in the back and catch the end of the show and then go home with my family.

Home sweet home!! Tip: if you ever find yourself grumbling about doing the dishes again, or folding laundry, or sweeping your kitchen floor, I recommend checking yourself into the hospital for a couple days. It is a sure cure for being dissatisfied with the ordinary.

A follow-up call with the oncologist's office on Monday gave me the news that she would need to see me before treatment and would not be in the office on Tuesday, my scheduled last day, so we got switched to Friday. Oy!

Its Thanksgiving week, so I am trying to be especially focused on all there is to be thankful for. Even in the uncertainty and frustration I am so aware of how very blessed I am.

Over the weekend, my nurse asked about my support system, with all that I've been through over the last year. My smile got big as I told her we have been extravagantly supported in every way possible by family, friends, church family, strangers, friends of family, family of family, friends of friends. I stumbled over my words as I tried to express the extent of the love we've been shown.

Thank you. For hanging with us all these months, for caring, for praying, for showing love in big ways and small ways. We are so very grateful.