Doing Battle, Week 69

I've allowed myself just a couple irrational thoughts recently, one being if I don't hit "publish" on this post, then the news contained herein is not actually real and instead was some intricate, crazy dream. So I've stalled....

I just read through my "wrap up" post back in 2016, ending 68 weeks in a row of posting about our cancer journey. What I didn't know then is that I'd have another surgery and we were still months and months away from being done. But then we were done and we figured out what life looked like after our whirlwind couple of years. We fell into a happy rhythm of semi-annual to annual screenings, which all looked great. For many of the check-ups we even brought the whole family and made a fun day of it in New York City.

Last week I went for my routine annual workup of blood test/MRI/CT Scan, followed by a check-up with my oncologist to go over results and get the all-clear, everything-looks-great news that we've almost grown accustomed to over the last several years. Except instead of "all good!" we got, "hmmm..we should run some more tests" and were promptly whisked to the PET scan wing. 

Saturday was my 47th birthday....my family took me out to brunch and we were all delighted to have Kelly as our server. We had just buckled in and started the car on a single-digit day, when I saw that my doctor was calling, very unexpected on the weekend. 

Dr. Cercek, my oncologist going back to 2014 shared that we were facing cancer again. She said some other things that I couldn't fully hear or process. And then I hung up the call and had to share the news with my sweet, dear family sitting in the now very silent car with me.

There are so many questions that we don't have answers to right now. In the coming weeks we'll have more tests and appointments to get answers and a plan.

In the meantime, I will choose to see God working in it all. Like the fact that we found out over the weekend and were able to huddle up as a family to grieve and process and talk and be together instead of diving right into work and school. Or the overwhelming love I have already received in conversations and messages with people saying, we are in this with you (though it pains me deeply to have to share the news with all the people I love.)

Because I know so many of you truly care, because this is the most effective place for me to provide ongoing updates, because writing is my go-to means of processing....I will continue this series. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers...it means the world.

It was my first PET scan and the radioactive stuff pumped through my veins weirded me out a bit. But they gave me a pass in case I got wand-ed by police or had to go through security. Gee, thanks!

God of Abraham

You're the God of covenant and faithful promises

Time and time again

You have proven

You'll do just what You said

Though the storms may come

And the winds may blow, I'll remain steadfast

And let my heart learn when You speak a word

It will come to pass

Great is Your faithfulness to me

Great is Your faithfulness to me

From the rising sun to the setting same

I will praise Your name

Great is Your faithfulness to me

I'll still bless you 

You've been faithful

You've been faithful 

You've been so good to me

You've been so good