Project 365, Week 4

Lots of recovery this week.

January 23

We spent the day in the city with several appointments between two different buildings. As I took the 15-minute ride on a nearly empty shuttle, I couldn't help but overhear the conversation the doctor next to me was having, since he was on speaker phone. I tried tuning it out, but I kept hearing key words...tumor, sacrum, scans. They kept changing patients who they were discussing and at some point I heard my oncologist's voice. 

Suddenly it dawned on me that, since it was Monday, it was likely the weekly Tumor Board meeting. I had no way of knowing if they'd be talking about me, but just in case, I double-downed my efforts to block out the conversation, very much not wanting to hear the insider's scoop on my case. It was beyond strange to be in the "board room". And honestly, it looked different in my head.

January 24

The snow that had been so awful for Shaun to drive in the day before coming back from the city was so beautiful the next day with the sun shining.

January 25

I spent a little time setting up systems so I have the option to work from home. Ginger is a loyal companion.

January 26

No picture

January 27

I was still feeling awful, but I considered this view a win, since I was laying on the couch. I hadn't done that in months because it was so difficult to get to a standing position from there. Progress! 

Never has my tree still been up past New Year's Day, but this year I was advised to keep it up for the twinkling lights. I'm so glad we did since I have spent so much time in this room.

January 28

Mercifully, I felt like a new person this day. I got to watch my boy do his thing.

January 29

We watched the football playoffs and then we all went to the rink just 10 minutes from our house and watched Nathanael play hockey (and score two goals!). It was so much fun!

 

Project 365, Week 3

January 16

The kids were on Day 3 of camp. These kids!

January 17

A trick I learned years ago is to time how long it takes you to do tasks you don't enjoy. How long, really, does it take to complete a load of laundry? How many minutes, exactly, does it take to unload the dishwasher? Quite possibly much less time than we spend procrastinating or whining about it. For instance, it took this child 2:57 to vacuum the downstairs...far less time than the lead up took.

January 18

The first fingers of light appear on the horizon, and ever so deftly and gradually, they pull the mantle of darkness away from the world. ~John O'Donohue

January 19

The week before Christmas my car broke down enough to get towed. The mechanic had it for several weeks but thankfully the timing lined up with my surgery, which left me restricted from driving. It was sooo great to pick it up and have my own wheels again!

For weeks, Ginger had mothered this stuffed banana.

January 20

We've started to make a phone stack during TBQ practice. When I finally collected my phone, there was a happy surprise. :)

January 21

I was feeling pretty happy to be able to take Aiden to his game and watch him play.

In the afternoon I attended the funeral of a childhood friend. I was a teen and his family moved to the area and began attending the church my dad was pastoring, we also went to the same highschool. We did a ton of life with their family and they've always been very special. Just before Christmas, Jason had a heart attack. 

It was a beautiful service and utterly brutal to watch his family processing it all. I was proud when my dad got up to speak. He's done many hundreds of funerals and so meaningful because he takes the time to really get to know people and be involved in their lives. He loves genuinely and practically.

January 22

Since the girls were very little, I've sent out Valentine's cards to our family. These three teens were such good sports about changing clothes and braving the cold for their mom to take some pictures. Very sweet of them!

 

January's 10 on 10

10 pictures on the 10th day (Tuesday) of the month! 

{Document a snapshot of your life...find beauty among the ordinary things in your day!}

Walking is not always an option now, so I'm especially thankful when I can.

Shaun and I interviewed someone for the office.

Speaking of the office, that's where I spent most of the day. I moved slow and kept things low key, trying to get our ducks in a row.

Anytime I need to pause and breathe, I look at this painting and begin reciting Psalm 23:

The Lord is my shepherd;  I have all that I need.

He lets me rest in green meadows; he leads me beside peaceful streams.
    He renews my strength. He guides me along right paths

I also love my bank of south-facing windows.

The girls came in to work after school and I thought they looked so pretty and professional.

Sweet relief to be home, comfortable in my chair.

Even better, with some company of the best kind. :) I love when they find their way near me.

 

Project 365, Week 2

It was a quiet week for me, though my family did a fair amount of buzzing around.

January 9

Aiden received an acceptance letter from East Catholic High. No decision has been made. 

January 10

God and I have an extensive history together. Over and over and over He has proven Himself faithful. I choose to trust Him, independent of what I feel.

January 11

Double digits...#10

January 12

I made it downstairs and got to watch beautiful snowflakes fall.

January 13

Friday nights is a good time to check IG....they do a great job posting photos and videos. Amanda worked diligently all week to serve on the worship team. 

She also chugged down a happy meal that was first put through a blender. She is fun and competitive and has a unique set of skills that often help her team win lots of points. However, when she got home that night, she was feeling a little ill. :)

They caught Aiden looking happy and handsome. 

January 14

Saturday morning kicked off "Backyard Camp", the bi-annual, student-lead camp. So much planning and effort goes into it and this tight-knit group compete and make memories. Three different families hosted over the three days of camp. 

I have the honor of spending a fair amount of time with this group....they are incredible kids and have something very special in each other.

January 15

My 48th birthday. We went to church and then Shaun and I went to brunch. The kids stayed for the second service and then straight to Day Two of camp. 

For Christmas, Amy gave her daughters and nieces tickets to a UCONN women's basketball game. Tim and Elizabeth brought their girls and dinner, Dad and Kiki came with the birthday cookie and we had a quiet, enjoyable evening together. 

After the game, Amy brought Tim's girls back and we got a bit of time together. It was non-traditional and lovely. Stage 4 cancer is such a good teacher. I see so many things differently now in the best of ways. One simple thing is what a blessing birthdays are, along with the wrinkles and gray hair and bad eyes that begin to accompany the passing years. I'm grateful. 

Numbering Days, Week 24

Since I was two weeks removed from surgery, the end of my month-long break from chemo ended. To be honest, it didn't feel like my body was ready for more of any intervention, but the experts thought differently.

(sweet view from my recliner...my boys especially were very attentive to and protective of me)

During a meeting icebreaker at the beginning of 2022, we were asked what is your most-used phone app? I probably said texting but what I didn't know is it would quickly become the Memorial Sloan Kettering app. There I see my schedule, send questions and requests, view test results, and do video appointments.

This day was a scan to check that the screws and rods were still where they were placed during surgery, followed by labs, waiting and, ironically, a telemed appointment with my oncologist while receiving the poison she has prescribed.  There are still some boxes to check, but there's a chance we do a few more rounds of treatment and then take a pause. 

When we go for any appointment, we always plan to wait. We try to stay busy but its often difficult to concentrate so sometimes we just pace or sit quietly. The cancer center is a really hard scene. I'm so thankful for the many people who are willing to boldly go with me.

Courage is fear that has said its prayers. True courage—the ability to push beyond 

our fears—is found only in God. The degree to which we find ourselves trusting 

and relying on God is the same degree to which we will possess courage.  -Judah Smith