Monday, May 9, 2011

Mother's Day

Earlier in the week I was included in a "reply all" email response from one of the guys on the softball team stating he would not be able to make the practice that Shaun had called for Sunday afternoon because it was Mother's Day.  My immediate response was why can't MY husband be that thoughtful and considerate.  He doesn't even care that its supposed to be a special day for me.

I spent a little time in that state and then sat myself down for a talk.  Was I really going to waste this day dwelling on my "poor me" thoughts?  If I continued on that track I could be in a full-blown snit by the time Sunday rolled around and then I could ruin that day, too.   

I chose option B.  I backed my expectations for the day way down and let the softball practice go.  I reminded myself that even on Mother's Day, its not "all about me"....thankfully this life is not about me.  My happiness does not have to be found in what Shaun does or doesn't do for me, or in how my kids treat me.  I determined to maintain a grateful heart and not let my selfishness waste any more of my time. So annoyed that I still have to have those talks!

Those who trust God's action in them find that God's Spirit is in them—living and breathing God! Obsession with self in these matters is a dead end; attention to God leads us out into the open, into a spacious, free life. Focusing on the self is the opposite of focusing on God. Anyone completely absorbed in self ignores God, ends up thinking more about self than God. That person ignores who God is and what he is doing. Romans 8:5-8

As it turns out, it was actually a fabulous day!  It started the evening before at church.  There was a special men's choir who did the service and all 50 or so of them were in dark suits looking quite handsome and they sounded good too!

I had been talking with my mom the day before and in finding out what my plans were she asked if I would be getting breakfast in bed.  Breakfast in bed??  I realize I might be in the minority here, but there are few things I would dislike more than being in bed, awake, waiting.  My ideal day would actually start with an extra-long, guilt-free time at the gym, so that's what I did.

When I got home I was met by four smiling faces who were brimming with excitement to wish me Happy Mother's Day.  Avery and Amanda had dressed up in their classic finery (oh, I wish I'd take a was truly classic) to take me out to my favorite breakfast place.  

Amanda wanted to walk home from breakfast so I got to hold her hand and chat with her.  A policeman slowed his car and wished me Happy Mother's Day (not the one who gave me a ticket a month ago)  :)

I was looking forward to tagging along to softball practice and playing in the park with the kids, but it turns out practice had been cancelled.  Then I was really glad I hadn't spent more time on it. :)  So we played in the yard for a while, Shaun did a little photo shoot of me and the kids (his idea) and then we took the dog to a nearby lake for his first swim ever.  

Before we left the girls asked if they could bring their bathing suits "just in case".  Naively, I told them it would be too cold....wasn't really ever a consideration for them. :)

Later, I met up with my beautiful mom and sisters for a Thai dinner, possibly my first.

I realize Mother's Day is such a mixed-bag of emotions for many women.  For many it is a bitter reminder of what once was and is no more or of what will never be.  My heart goes out to those who carry a deep pain in their heart that is exaggerated on Mother's Day.

One of the drawbacks I find to blogs and social media in general is that it becomes very easy to compare myself to other people.  It doesn't take much searching to find someone prettier, with more money, whose husband doesn't play softball (j/k...usually), who didn't have to do dishes on Mother's Day.....the list goes on and on.  It is entirely in my power to have a heart full of thanks for what I DO have and to find my happiness not in what is going on around me.  I am for sure a work in progress!

But if God himself has taken up residence in your life, you can hardly be thinking more of yourself than of him. Anyone, of course, who has not welcomed this invisible but clearly present God, the Spirit of Christ, won't know what we're talking about. But for you who welcome him, in whom he dwells—even though you still experience all the limitations of sin—you yourself experience life on God's terms.  Romans 8:9-10

 Thank you Shaun, for these priceless pictures and for a special day.

 As a bonus, the dog. :)


The Bug said...

I'm glad you had a good day - those are great pictures! With no kids or moms around it was just a regular day in the Bug household (well, I was a little weepier than usual).

Did you enjoy the Thai food?

Penny said...

What a wonderful perspective you have!! And I agree -- with social media, you can get so caught up in what you don't have that sometimes we fail to recognize all the blessings we do have. =)

sara said...

I had one of those moments too....when I realized I would be leaving my house early to work at church, rushing out to a quick lunch to attend a youth symphony concert 30 miles away...and having to listen to ALL the younger groups before the youth symphony played. I was tempted to be in a BIG pity party. but it ended up being a great day...busy, but great.

LuAnn said...

I had a big pity party.

Was tired from a late night of chaperoning prom, my son stayed up all night with a bunch of friends around a campfire. He came home and said nothing to me. Atually said Happy Mother's Day last weekend - he was off a week. My husband had to remind him to say something to me at 3:00 p.m. nice..... I know he was tired and I needed to get over it. My husband dug up the garden and I helped him spray the yard for weeds. WOW what a day (ha ha) and then he piked up a pizza.

I think part of my problem was I was so tired too.

I realize I have a husband who loves me, a hard worker and awesome father.

A son who still hugs me and tells me he loves me at 17.

I really just needed to get over myself.

Melody said...

Beautiful post.

Kaleigh said...

Those r really nice pics