Monday, March 2, 2015

Doing Battle, Week 23

In the first month after the diagnosis, things would change by the hour somedays and updating on a weekly basis didn't seem like enough. Now that we're where we are, weekly sometimes seems like too much sharing, especially after twenty-three weeks!

But it means so much to me when I find out people stop by this blog once in a while to check up on us. It actually surprises me too, because...who wants to read about cancer every week?? But you keep caring and you keep praying and I just want to say...thank you. We have more journey left, but we're making our way through!

This week I had the follow-up to my surgery. The incisions look good and Mr. Doctor said I can resume any activities I want. He may also have said something about not overdoing it, but I stopped listening at "you can resume activity". And that is why my people don't trust me to do doctor's appointments by myself. ;)

He did ok radiation, so I went to get re-scanned and re-aligned (they were able to use the previous tattoos). When I walked in at 6:50 AM, the radiologist, who I hadn't met with since October, stepped out to greet me. He gave me such a compassionate look that said, made it back. And in that split second my mind went through all these months since October and what I've been through to actually make it back. I almost cried, right there in the waiting room.

This week I also did lots of leg work to get my medication. There is a learning curve with our new insurance company and it seems like a lot more work. So I did plenty of phone tag and waiting on hold and being transferred and tracking down money due us from the old insurance company. And while its frustrating (in almost a comical way), I think of the many senior citizens who are alone and trying to mange it all. Its a part-time job! And healthcare is a really, really bad system. No, not system...that implies something that is functioning and working together. Entity, maybe?

Aiden and I went to the hospital to pick up my MRI results and I walked down a hallway that somehow I remember walking down from ER to maternity the night Amanda was born. Weird what our brains remember.

The MRI says what my body has confirmed...that I need to start radiation now. And that's what I'll be doing this week. Radiation is five days a week, for six weeks. Seven days a week during those six weeks I will take chemo pills.

I'm excited to get the next step going but I'm not naive anymore. I know this phase will have its own set of challenges and so I'm back in my head doing battle. Battling the fear and the futile wishing I could just be done and not have to do anymore hard. But I can, and I will and God's grace is enough.

We were crushed and overwhelmed beyond our ability to endure, and we thought we would 
never live through it.  In fact, we expected to die. But as a result, we stopped relying 
on ourselves and learned to rely on God, who raises the dead. 

2 Cor 4:8b-9


LuAnn said...

Oh dear Lisa, thank you for your updates. Your on mind and in my prayers. Do you know the hymn Onward Christian Soliders? I think of you. Many blessings, strength and faith as you continue this next part.

sara said...

love that scripture!

so when I read these words "but I'm not naive anymore" it made me so sad...sad you have had to go through this battle and now you are battle wise. But just as you are not naive to the hard, you are also not naive to God's care!! You know where to turn and you know His unfailing love and you know His Words will bring peace to your heart when that fear tries to push it's way in!!

Love you, Lisa, and am praying for you each and every day...doing battle with you in prayer!

Ashley Beth said...

We keep praying for you always. Even the kids (especially Emily) prays for you. She's particularly worried about your kids and how they handle having a mama who is sick. God hears lots of sweet 5-year-old prayers for you and for your kiddos! You are so covered in God's grace and compassion, friend.

Jackie said...

I don't comment all the time, but I read all your updates and you are in my prayers, Lisa! Much love to you as you continue this battle; you are not alone.

The Bug said...

I'll add my love & prayers...

Michelle Curtis said...

Continuing to keep you and your family in prayer. We may have never met but as sisters in Christ i can assure you that I lift your name up in prayer every day! Keep fighting... it's certainly a fight worth enduring!

Michelle Curtis said...

Continuing to keep you and your family in prayer. We may have never met but as sisters in Christ i can assure you that I lift your name up in prayer every day! Keep fighting... it's certainly a fight worth enduring!

Michele said...

Praying without ceasing my friend. Hugs! Michele, Bill, Abigail, and Madison

Amy said...

Broken system??? No. Obama fixed it. The crown jewel of his presidency. --- you can and will by God's grace. You are brave and strong. The worst is behind you the the end is ahead. I love you!!!

Laura said...

Finish line is approaching. Ever want/need ride or company let me know. You are loved and God has prepared you to walk through this with such grace and dignity to be example to us all. Thank you.