There's not too much to report this week, which in this business I consider to be a good thing and don't want to take for granted. Today was 15 of 30 radiation treatments, so if my math's correct, that means we're at the halfway mark!
I go five days a week and its been working well to drop the girls off at school and then just keep driving. I wish I could say they are disappointed to miss our morning walks to school (which always translates to quality bonding time, deep, heart-bearing conversation and never any grumbling or arguing ;) but actually they are quite thrilled to be hitching a ride each morning.
They had Monday off of school and Avery and Amanda were really looking forward to going to radiation with me. Aiden wasn't thrilled with their intrusion on his territory, but he warmed up to it and ended up leading the way and showing them where all the cool stuff is and where the best candy stash resides. My techs were great about giving them a tour of the room I use and showing them how the table goes up and down. I think it really helped them to see that its not a scary place.
Aiden and I are making friends at radiation. He charms everyone he comes in contact with...most days I come out and he's chatting with a nurse or senior citizen. The "feel" of radiology is so different than oncology. Yes, we're all sick but there is guarded hope floating around. Cancer gets weaved into most conversations but there seems to be an understanding that we don't want to stay on that subject very long...that it doesn't define us, even though most of the waiting room is clad in hospital gowns.
Radiation makes me tired. I find myself fantasizing about sleep and checking the time to see when the next opportunity will be. Getting plenty of sleep each night and catching an afternoon nap before the kids get home from school seems to be enough to keep me operational.
The chemo pills are almost a non-issue. As long as I take them with food in my stomach, they don't bother me at all. Those are twice a day, seven days a week, so the key is just remembering. :) I'm really happy about that piece because the doctor started me on kind of the max he wanted to be at, with the plan being to back me off in frequency or dosage if my body couldn't tolerate it. But my blood counts are good each week and that is huge!
Spring hasn't shown up outside yet, but it was delivered to my door with love.
I'm so grateful to have so many people who care. Its almost too much to take in that people love me, love our family so much. Meals and prayers and check-ins...its all so amazing. Community is costly yet invaluable. It is messy and beautiful. Every day I marvel at the beauty of it and the way God made us to need each other and the way He brings us together.
Admittedly, needing help is something I'm still learning to embrace but as God continues to chisel away at my sinful pride I can see the grace that it is. All is grace.
We were made to hunger for God in both the pain and in the ordinary.
Every single day is purposed. ~Sara Hagerty