Tuesday kicked off the beginning of radiation. Shaun took the afternoon off so he and Aiden were able to join me. I put on my best brave face to walk into this new challenge. I haven't decided if its scarier to face something new and unknown or well-known and hard....probably the latter.
We met with the radiologist, who is kind and thorough. He was very happy with how my surgery went and answered the few questions I had. Generally, I don't ask too many because the basics are really enough information for me to deal with....Shaun is the one who researches and studies and knows.
I did four days of radiation last week. Treatment lasts about 15 minutes total, from when I walk into the room to when I walk out. I have the same room, with the same team of two to three (depending on whether the intern is around) ladies each day. The process is painless and not scary (after we got the first day out of the way, anyway).
The side effects are yet to be fully determined, though its already well established that it makes me tired. I'm trying to sleep for 30 minutes in the afternoon before I get the girls from school. That helps me last a little later into the evening to do homework and bedtime and such.
We're getting the hang of a new routine and after more than a month we are one again actively "killing cancer", as Shaun says.
A puzzle in the waiting room...genius!
People often ask me how the kids are doing in all this. From the beginning we've tried to leave it an open subject so they feel free to ask questions as they think of them. We answer them truthfully, but don't expound more than necessary. Cancer is a household word around here but at the same time we've tried to have normalcy for them, keeping them in activities, going places even if its not with both parents. I love these pictures because it shows that love and laughter still abound around here and much of life is still normal...except the parts that aren't. :)
I was getting ready to leave for church with the kids when Shaun called and said he'd finished up work early and would be able to go with us. And before I even knew that he was available for the evening my sister had asked to take our three overnight (and R had made arrangements to go to church with his girlfriend's family). So Shaun and I sat together in church AND we went out on a date after, just the two of us. Neither one of those things have happened since October and it was SO nice!
This man is such a gift! A harder job than being the patient is being the patient's spouse but this guy does it with such patience and faithfulness...and love. Though its changed some things about our relationship, cancer has only served to bring us closer together and to know a greater deepness of love.
He's got a ton of weight resting on his shoulders, yet he always finds time to text me that he loves me at some point in the day. So sweet.
As we were driving home from our date I thought, now...if I could just get up in the morning and go for a 20-mile run...then the world would be right again. :)
A dear friend suggested using podcasts as a way to pass the hour drive I'll be doing for the next five weeks. I already enjoy podcasts while ironing or doing various household chores, but I don't usually do one in the car because I like being available for conversations with Shaun or the kids....or I need to break up the arguing coming from the back. And on the off chance that I'm alone in the car? I love to turn everything off and just enjoy the quiet. Time to think, time to pray, time to just be.
However, I thought maybe Nicky was right, that podcasts would be a good way to redeem some of the time in the car. And I'm really enjoying it! There is a wealth of goodness out there to be heard. I thought I'd share some of the nuggets I caught in this short week.
Also, I'm open to suggestions if there is a must-hear podcast you know about.
Andy Stanley, Your Move The New Rules for Love, Sex and Dating (2/15/15)
(Caught my eye because my teenage son is now dating...ack! But also good stuff for me, who's been married 20 years)
The present will be your past, which will be present in your future.
The right person myth says this: if I marry the right person, everything will be alright.
It is not about finding the right person, it is about becoming the right person.... Everything in our culture says if you find the right person, everything will be alright. There is no evidence to support that. Find the happiest married person you know and ask them what they think about finding the right person myth and they will say, that ain't how it works.
Are you who the person you are looking for is looking for?
When you open the scripture, you find very little help when it comes to the finding the right person part. But when you open the scripture and you ask God, do you have anything to say on what I should become, the pages of scripture are just wide open to you.
Krista Tippetts On Being with Father James Martin (12/18/14)
If we miss the joy in Christianity, we are missing the point.
Joy is happiness in God. Joy has an object...its about relationship. Happiness can be very evanescent...here one day, left the next, but joy is a lot deeper than that.
Pastor Ed Young Happiness Is: Part I (11/17/13)
Happiness is temporary. In fact, the word happiness comes from the Latin root hap, which means circumstance or luck. So basically, if things are going your way, you will be happy. But there's a problem with that, its called...Life.
Happiness is the pursuit of happenings but joy is the pursuit of Jesus.
I’ve learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I’m just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I’ve found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am. Phil 4:11