My Prince

I've mentioned several times that I am a big fan of Rachel Ridge of Home Sanctuary.  Most days she has us doing a "small thing" to shine up our houses but often she will be on the subject of family.  Today was such a good reminder, I wanted to share...

I hadn't been married long when I began to hear what sounded like "ribbets" coming from within my Prince Charming's shiny armor.

Naaah.  Couldn't be.  Could it?

Uh, like, yeah. (I have teenagers, I must overuse the word "like")

Reality soon hit me.  My Tender Warrior, my Knight, my Beloved One, had warts--FLAWS, dangit!  There was a frog inside my prince, just waiting to get out!  And it did, oh it did.

As a young wife, I was eager to forgive those tiny flaws and missteps.  It was easy to look beyond the disappointments to see the man I knew he'd become.... with my help.

And the Lord's of course.

But the truth is my "help" has often undermined the Lord's help.  I've had to face the fact that when my man makes mistakes he doesn't need a prison (or dog house) to make him pay for his shortcomings, but a refuge he can draw strength from when he falls down.  Both places have four walls and three "squares," but one strips a man of dignity while the other restores, builds confidence, resolve and courage.  One tries to control his behavior through criticism, nagging, arguing and punishment, while the other accepts imperfections and loves unconditionally.

To be an emotional refuge, I need to assure my prince not just of my acceptance, but of my appreciation and respect.

Guess what?  He IS working hard.

He's TRYING to do all the right things.

And half the time he feels unequal to the task of being the spiritual leader/breadwinner/husband/father/coach/church member/bike fixer/problem solver/boo-boo kisser/landscaper/handyman and all-around great guy.

Will it kill me to give him the kudos he needs to hear, or will I refuse to offer it on the grounds that I think I'm the one working harder?

Forgiveness, acceptance and appreciation are three small things that go so, SO far, and how often I overlook the simplest forms of true love:

A "thank you."

A kind word.

A soft answer.

A gentle touch.

Being an emotional refuge to my froggy prince means letting go of my need to fix him.  God can do a better job without me.

Refuge is letting him know that I am on his side, ON HIS TEAM no matter what.

It is loving him in spite of the fact that he's not perfect.

Being my man's refuge means remembering that.............

Shaun, since I don't actually see you or talk to you these days, I will tell you here.  Thank you for tirelessly doing the best for our family.  Thank you for working these 80, 90 hour weeks without a word of complaint.  I love you.