The Excellent Wife, Ch 9

The Wife's Choice

This chapter was overwhelmingly long, as would my post be if I covered it all. You can go here to get a better feel for the entire chapter. Five principles were covered on the love of a wife for her husband.

Principle #1 Wives are to love their husbands

"Godly love is not primarily a feeling, it is a choice. God will give you (if you are a Christian) supernatural power (grace) to show love to your husband, if you obey God by thinking loving thoughts and doing loving actions."

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." II Corinthians 12:9

Principle #2 Selfishness hinders love

In our culture there is a emphasis on taking care of yourself above all else. From birth, we are naturally lovers of ourselves. But by God's way, in general, "to have the happiness, joy and fulfillment you desire, you must put yourself aside and place God and others first."

Do nothing from selfish or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself: do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Philippians 2:3-4

Principle #3 Bitterness hinders love

"Bitterness grows when you 'take into account a wrong suffered' (I Corinthians 13:5). In other words, as you think about the bad, hurtful things your husband has done, you are feeding bitterness. If you dwell on what your husband has done, your emotional pain will greatly intensify...Confessing bitterness, clearing your conscience and giving blessings will go a long way, but in addition you must put off the bitterness by putting on kind, tender-hearted, and forgiving thoughts."

Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. And be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. Ephesians 4:31-32

Principle #4 Fear hinders love

"the wife is specifically told to 'do what is right without being frightened by any fear' (I Peter 3:6). As she does what is right, she will be showing love to God by obeying Him and also showing love to her husband."

Principle #5 The wife is to "put on" love

"Putting on love begins with biblical thoughts and motives and then progresses to your actions." I could be on my soap box for a while talking about thoughts and bringing them to the cross and getting them under submission. I believe with God's help we can line up our thoughts with God's word. In this world of the "quick fix" of divorce after people have "tried" it goes against the mainstream thinking that love is not a feeling, but instead it is an act of your will.

To love is the greatest commandment. This life that I am living is the one shot I am going to get; I want it to be pleasing to God. Most days Shaun is incredibly easy to love but I want to stay diligent for the days or minutes I don't "feel" like it. The rewards are worth the diligent, daily work it requires.