Wednesday, May 23, 2012

All For Him

My husband is one of those people who can dive right into the water.  He doesn't wait to see if he'll be able to bear the cold...he doesn't slowly wade up to his knees and then turn around, deciding its not worth it.  He just goes for turning back, no second thoughts.

Me?  I'm a total chicken.  I like to first dip my toes in the water and then take one step at a time, gingerly testing the temperature as I go.  I don't have a problem turning around and giving up, knowing the ocean will be there the next time I want to try.

Foster care, I've found is not about wading in.  No sooner have you dipped that first toe in the water than an unseen drop-off takes you under and, just like that, you are in up to your head.

While I think I've painted a pretty rosy picture of what its been like, doing this foster care thing, and it truly has been an amazing experience, I also wanted to share the other side....that it is hard.

This week I supervised a spontaneous visit with some of Z's family.  I had five minutes notice and left the house in a whirlwind, with dinner literally cooking on the stove.  We sat in Burger King for an hour and a half, trying to all be good sports about what was a less than ideal situation for all involved.

After goodbyes, Z and I got in the car and drove away.  The very first thing he said to me was, I don't understand...Why can't I go back home now?

While I recognized the head-shaking sadness of the situation, the comment also left me feeling like I'd gotten elbowed in the gut.  Of course it was all internal, but my defenses were up.

(Thinking) Why?  Are you not happy with us?  Nearly every facet of our lives has been turned on its side by having you live with us.  We are a good home and take good care of you.  Why would you want to go back home...back to that place you were taken from?  What else could we possibly be doing to keep you content to be with us?

And then, just as quickly the thought came to me...oh yeah...this isn't about me!

That breath you took as you read that last sentence was given to you for one reason, that you might for another moment "reflect the Lord's glory" II Corinthians 3:18.  "There is only one God, the Father, who created everything, and we exist for him" I Corinthians 8:6.

Why does the earth spin?  For him.
Why do you have talents and abilities?  For him.
Why do you have money or poverty?  For him.
Strength or struggles?  For him.
Everything and everyone exists to reveal his glory.
Including you. ~Max Lucado

Including me.

God, less of me and more of you!

“It may take place in a foreign land or it may take place in your backyard, but I believe that we were each created to change the world for someone. To serve someone. To love someone the way Christ first loved us, to spread His light. This is the dream, and it is possible.” 
Katie J. DavisKisses from Katie: A Story of Relentless Love and Redemption


Connie said...

Thank you for the reminder, Lisa. More of Him , less of us! And your last quote....I just picked that book up today, looking forward to reading Kisses for Katie!

LuAnn said...

Thanks!!! I needed that today. And please know I continue to pray for all of you.

A work in progress said...

Absolutely LOVE how open and raw honest you sugar coating at all. We need to remember to keep honest and "raw" at times! Thanks for that!