On Rejoicing...and the Gift of Perspective

Ahhh...really, I'm not even sure where to begin.  We've come to the end of the summer, which for us means the end of apartment renovations!!!!! And !!!

When my perspective is right, my feelings on it all seem completely over-dramatized, but when I'm one day removed from it, it all feels justified.  Ever been there??

It will be one of those summers that I'll look back on and wonder how we did it all.  Many days I blew right past whatever limits I previously thought I had.  My former "I could never"s didn't even stand a chance, they just turned into "I have to, so I will"s.

I can remember multiple moments, some of them in the early morning, some of them during the days of me asking God for a courageous heart to do the things I needed to do, despite not having the strength to do them.

Spending time going over it all seems silly...unless you've been in a similar situation there is no way to understand anyway.  I'm just so very grateful we are through it and that God was so very faithful.  He kept us all healthy and sane and made the finances work.

Yesterday, Shaun left for Europe and our weekend company left for their homes and the kids left with grandparents.  I had the house to myself and lots of emotions going on.  I was feeling like one might after getting through a mild trauma, like an accident or something.  Grateful, overwhelmed, wishing I had someone to talk it out with, happy to have lived through it, wondering if I actually did.

I was also wondering where to start back up with normal life.  All those things that shouldn't have been put on the back burner but were...where to start??  So, I grabbed the leash and took the dog for a walk.  :)  After, I had just sat down to the computer to start digging in, when the phone rang.  It was our foster care agency begging me to take an emergency placement, just for the night.

Everything in me wanted to say NO!  No, I am enjoying my quiet.  I was looking forward to making some headway on work....you have no idea the two months I've just been through.  No, I just want to be selfish right now and not care that there are problems in the world and that things are anything less than perfect as they are right here in my house at this moment.

But I said yes.  Yes, I will go pick up this 15-year old girl who desperately needs to leave where she is right now.  Yes, I will go load up all her worldly possessions into the back of my car and bring her to my house where she will interrupt my nice quiet afternoon.

After I got her settled in and we'd talked for a bit, I began to feel ashamed that I'd almost said no to helping her.  She was in such awe of our large house, clearly the biggest house she'd ever been in.  As the conversation developed over the evening, I learned that she and her family had lived on the streets of our Capitol city for six months and then her family with ten kids had shared a two-bedroom apartment.

All I could think of was that I'd almost said no to her because I wanted to have all 4000 square feet of my house to myself for the afternoon.  Yuck!

I came across this picture from May.  At the time I took it because the girls had seen it and were so excited that this dandelion was growing in our flower bed.  I only wish the flower beds were this weed- free now.  BUT...its ok.  We are ok and through it and today I'm rejoicing; and thankful for the perspective that K has brought.

Purify my heart

Cleanse me Lord I pray 

Remove from me all that 

is standing in the way

of Your Love