Don't Keep a Record of Wrongs
Perhaps this should have been inserted when we were talking about forgiving others and ourselves and not being easily offended, but I didn't include it and I've been feeling like I should.
There is forgiving and then there is forgetting.
If I'm not paying attention to what I'm doing, I can spend a considerable amount of thought time going over and over what someone has done to me. I repeat the offense over and over in my mind until I have it memorized, just to make sure I don't forget it. I save it in case there is ever an opportunity to use it against them in the future.
"Oh, you think what I did was bad?? What about the time (3 years ago!) when you disappointed me?"
How much peace am I hoping to have if the empty space is used to keep replaying the wrongs that have been done to me?
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A key to letting go of the record of wrongs and achieving total forgiveness lies in the control of the tongue.
The irony is that our words, instead of helping us “get something off our chest,” can cause an uncontrollable fire to erupt and incinerate what remains inside us. And instead of that fire subsiding, it doubles, intensifies and gets a thousand times worse in the end. It is a satanic victory, ultimately traceable to our keeping a record of wrongs.
How, then, do we deal with our tongue? Two things, I believe, will help:
- When a person does wrong, refuse to point it out to the person.
- When a person does wrong, refuse to point it out to others.
If this were to become a more popular lifestyle, the number of records kept would plummet! By refusing to continually bring up the hurt in conversations, the record of that hurt would eventually disappear.
This principle also applies to imaginary conversations—those internal dialogues with yourself in which you can’t get what they did off your mind. You may fantasize what you will say or do to them, or what you might tell other people about them. This conversation may go on and on—and hours and days may pass when you neither accomplish anything nor feel any better!
One day at about 11 p.m., as I was going to bed, I found myself having a conversation in my head about someone. I imagined I had the opportunity to spill the beans about this person. I pictured the scenario in great detail. I made myself look good and the other person look bad. But the Holy Spirit—miraculously—got into the matter. I heard Him say to me, “You can get a victory right now if you refuse to think about clearing your name.”
Even though the conversation existed only in my mind, I realized that I had an opportunity to triumph—in my spirit! It was a pivotal moment because it was as if we were real and I was refusing to say anything at all about the person.
By doing that I achieved victory. A peace entered my heart, and I knew then and there that I must never again enter into those imaginary conversations—unless I refused to vindicate myself.
For those who find such conversations therapeutic, I would only remind you to let your thoughts be positive and wholesome. Keep no record of wrongs in your thoughts, and you will be less likely to expose such records by your words.
Saturday, 01 January 2011 12:00 AM EST R. T. Kendall 01/11 Magazine Articles - Features
I look forward to the next 8 days.
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